Wishful Thinking ♥ Rainbow of Love ♥

**

 “I chose you to transfer to our branch in Paris because I trust you. Do not fail me.”

“Yes, Pres.”

Sunghoon sighs as he closed the door of the President’s room, he had decided. And he doesn’t want to fail his boss. He was on his way back to his office when he saw his friends crowding his door.

“What’s up with you guys?” he asked Suwon, Jaeduc, and Gian.

“N-nothing.” Jaeduc answered but Suwon and Gian pushed him forward so he asked, “we heard you are being transferred, is it true?”

“Wow, it has already spread?”

“There were rumours that someone might be transferred and noting how good you are it is either you are being transferred or you are being promoted when you were called. So? Are you being transferred or being pro—”” Jaeduck didn’t finish his practiced speech because of Suwon.

“You are being transferred!?” Suwon interrupted. Upon hearing Suwon, Jaeduc and Gian also asked in chorus.

“Alright, guys. You lot are being funny. I am being transferred. I am going to Paris. End of discussion.” Sunghoon said, smiling at the comical faces his friends are wearing. His gaze stayed longer at Gian’s face, shaking his head, he went inside his office with his friends in tow.

That evening, Suwon came over to his apartment and asked him the real reason why he accepted the transfer notice.

“Boss stated it in a nice way that he succeeded on persuading me.”

“Sunghoon.”

Noting his friend’s stern voice, he slumped on the sofa. With a hand on his eyes, he answered in a small voice. “I’m letting go, Suwon-ah.”

Suwon sighed. “Why don’t you try confessing first, Sunghoon.”

“No use, Suwon-ah. I do not want him to be awkward to me too. And he is already happy with his girlfriend. What’s the use of confessing? I am finally letting go, Suwon. Please don’t stop me.”

“I am not stopping you. You might find him there, however. So grab it, charge~” Suwon playfully said, fistbumping with Sunghoon.

“I might. And yes, I will charge forward” they both laugh at that.

**

But it is easier said than done. Here he was, on a bar at Paris, drinking his hard liquor as he stares at the bartender who he is having a staring match on. He blinked.

“Ha! I won! No more Devil Springs for you Kang Sunghoon-ssi.” He said in his native tongue. Sunghoon and the bartender got acquainted four weeks ago…

“One of your hard liquor please.” Sunghoon said in his broken French. It has been a month and he is still adjusting to his new environment. Five more months, and he is pretty sure he will forget he even had a crush on his friend. Or so he thought. That is why here he is again on his already favourite bar, thrice in a week already. “Devil Springs for you, Sir.” The bartender said as he put a glass in front of him. He drank it in one go as he asked for another one. “This is hard.” He mumbled, talking about forgetting his feelings.

“Of course it is hard, you asked for it.” The bartender muttered, Sunghoon looked around him and looked up at the bartender when he saw no one was there beside him.

“You talking to me?” Sunghoon said in French and added in Korean “I was not talking to you.” He got surprised when the bartender answered him in Korean. “Oh, you weren’t? I thought you were talking about the liquor I gave you. I am Jiwon by the way. Born and raised in Korea but came here just to get away from all of the tiring things in Korea.”

“Are you always this talkative?” Sunghoon asked, slightly annoyed.

“Ah, sorry. It has been so long since I talked in my native tongue, I’ve been here for three years, you see. What is your name?”

It was the start of their friendship.

“Ah, hyuuuuu~ng. I’m not yet done!” Sunghoon whined to Jiwon.

“No more. And you said you only came here thrice a week, you’ve been coming here every day, you know. What’s wrong?” he noted the sadness in Sunghoon’s eyes.

“Hook me up with someone.” Sunghoon suddenly told Jiwon.

With wide eyes, he asked Sunghoon if he is kidding. “You are drunk.”

“I’m not.” Sunghoon replied but he keeps on bobbing his head and smiling to everyone who went near him. Of course Jiwon shoo-ed everyone, gonna keep his dongsaeng safe.

Jiwon sighed as he looked at Sunghoon, he called upon one of the waiters and told him he’ll be gone for the night. The waiter just nod at him as he went beside Sunghoon, helping him to stand. “Where do you live, Sunghoon?”

“What where do you key in?”

“I said, where do you live”

“You can’t hook me up when I am drunk, hyung. You can’t, really can’t hook me up when I am drunk.”

“No use talking to you. Let’s go to my house.”

“Huh? Hyung, don’t get angry I promise I will call my friends tomorrow when I am sober.” He slurred. Jiwon only catching three or four words. Sunghoon kept on babbling on their way to Jiwon’s house. Jiwon knows the reason why he keeps on drinking and wants to be hooked to someone. He discovered he hadn’t called his friends since he landed on Paris, one thing that he got angry at knocked him on the head.  He also discovered Sunghoon’s preferences and he discovered he likes men. And he is afraid he might not be his friend anymore if ever he found out, Sunghoon received another knock on the head with that statement.

“I can’t just unfriend you, Sunghoon-ah. You have wormed up inside my heart already. You can’t just un-friend a likeable friend, you know.”

He can hook Sunghoon with someone, but he’d rather not. Because he believes love can only be found if you are not looking for it. But if Sunghoon really insists, Jiwon sighs for the nth time that night. He will talk to Sunghoon again when he is sober, he decided.

After a tiring walk from his car to his house, he slumped on the sofa with a sleeping Sunghoon. He positioned Sunghoon in the sofa, as he exhaled deeply. “You are heavy.” He grumbled but caressed the younger’s fringe as he said so. He was about to stand when Sunghoon moved and almost fall off the sofa. Noting how the sofa can’t be a safe place for Sunghoon to sleep, he tried piggybacking Sunghoon and as he succeeded, went to his room and put him on his bed.

Jiwon slumped on the sofa, tiredly. “No more devil springs for you, Sunghoon.” He said to no one. He decided he would sleep on the sofa for tonight.

**

He woke up with a headache, holding his head with both hands, he tried to remember what happened last night and where he is. He can only remember drinking again and then, he blinked, he is in an unknown surrounding.  “What happened?” he mumbled to himself as he tried standing. He slowly walked towards the door and as he opened it, he was welcomed by Jiwon with an apron; he was on his way to the room he was in.

“You are awake. Headache?” he softly asked the younger. “I prepared the aspirin. Just go to the kitchen table, it’s there.”

“Thanks hyung.” Sunghoon mumbled, passing by him with head low and still being assisted by his hands.

As soon as he drank the medicine, he put his head on the table’s surface, enjoying its coolness. He felt a hand ruffling his hair and heard Jiwon’s voice as he asked “So, why do I need to hook you up with someone?”

At that, he instantly rose up, the headache making him grunt, he was about to lean forward to the table’s surface again when Jiwon massaged his head with both hands. He sighed in pleasure.

“I said that? Please don’t mind that, hyung. Just some drunk talk.” He mumbled. “Did I talk a lot hyung?” he nervously asked Jiwon who smirked at him, which he didn’t see because he has his eyes closed.

“You did. But I won’t tell you what~”

They have been friends for a month now. And it feels like they have been friends for years with how they treat each other. Sunghoon is even a known customer on the bar that Jiwon owned. And no one messes with him because no one wants to mess with Jiwon, like that time when someone tried to hit on Sunghoon. Jiwon was not yet around that time, and being the kind Sunghoon, he just entertained the woman but was on a lookout for Jiwon, because he wanted out of the woman hitting on him. As soon as he saw Jiwon walking towards him, he sighed in relief but one look at his face he knows something would happen to the woman, and he was right, a waiter accidentally spilled a glass of margarita on his short dress, the woman went away wet and angry.

Or that time when a man was hitting on Sunghoon, he went and sat beside Sunghoon and talked to him, Sunghoon doesn’t know how to turn someone down so he responded to every question that was asked until Jiwon came to the bar, tired and a bit bitchy when he saw Sunghoon talking to some man. One look at Jiwon’s face, the man went away, hastily saying goodbye to Sunghoon.

“Even if it’s not some drunk talk, I won’t hook you up with someone.”

“Why not?”

“I’m your hyung. Imagine your own brother hooking you up with someone .”

“But you are not really my hyung.”

“Sunghoon” Jiwon sighs. “I won’t hook you up with someone.”

“Arasseo, hyung.” Sunghoon said, smiling, leaning forward, he leaned on Jiwon’s stomach and sighed. “Please continue the massage.” Jiwon just smiled at him.

**

“How’s work?” Jiwon instantly asked as Sunghoon was near where he is, on the sofa. Aside from the bar, their new hideout is Sunghoon’s apartment, or sometimes, Jiwon’s house.

“Hyung! You are here” Sunghoon exclaimed walking towards the sofa Jiwon was in.

“So, how’s work?” Jiwon asked again as he turned the television on.

“It’s good. I have been praised by my boss and… it’s already two months, huh.”

“So you remembered!” Jiwon smiled but then it turned to a frown as he looked at Sunghoon’s face “Yah! I thought you will be happy.”

“I’m happy. It’s just that…” Sunghoon looked at Jiwon “you know my time here is limited.” He sadly said.

“Don’t bring that up, only remember the good things that we shared. I do not want to see you sad” Sunghoon blinked at that and then smiled.

“Why are you spouting those words, hyung?” he chuckled.

Jiwon just smiled at him. “Nothing~” he answered.

“Tomorrow is Saturday, where do you want to go next?” It has been their routine. Every weekend they would go out for sightseeing. Jiwon’s idea since the younger is always home-office-bar-home-office-bar. He needs to see Paris to! That’s what Jiwon always says to Sunghoon until he convinced the younger that they would spend their weekend somewhere not his apartment.

“I still don’t know why we kept on doing this.” Sunghoon asked as he entered the passenger seat of Jiwon’s car.

“Nothing~”

“You always say nothing.” Sunghoon whined.

“Someday you’ll figure it out. For now, let’s just enjoy our time together”

**

“I was trying to make you fall in love with me.”

It was four months after that he figured out. The older has confessed to him and told him he was trying to make him fall in love with him. That is why he can’t let him be hooked up with another person. It was a crush at first, Jiwon said. But as he kept on going back to his bar and kept on blabbing about his life, he feels like they have known each other for years, not just days. Then they became friends, it was one of the happiest days in Jiwon’s life. The day they became friends was the day Jiwon promised to himself, he will make this man happy and his.

 He kept his feelings well hidden, Sunghoon thought. But as he thought of everything that happened between the two of them, their getaways, their time together, everything, he had an epiphany.

“Someday you’ll figure it out. For now, let’s just enjoy our time together”

 And indeed he figured it out. Not just Jiwon’s feelings for him but also his feelings to the older. Sunghoon’s epiphany made his heart beats so fast that he couldn’t sleep. His body is excited to see Jiwon the next day. He tried some exercise to tire his body out but it just won’t. He tried relaxing his body, but it won’t because he kept on thinking about Jiwon. He thought about many what ifs. In the end, he couldn’t sleep. Sunghoon count 6:45am as the big hand passed by the number 12. He hasn’t fallen asleep yet and he can feel a headache already coming. Thinking about his work, he stood up to get ready for work.

He came at the office walking wobbly and feeling hot. Seeing this, one of his co-workers, Fran, who is “always ready” as they dubbed him but is kind and you can always lean on, took a thermometer on his bag and went towards him, checking his temperature.

“Hey, you’ve got a high fever, Sunghoon.”

“Really?”

“What “really”?! You need to go home.”

“But I have work to finish.”

“Give that to me, I’ll finish it. If I can’t, you can finish it tomorrow. I’m pretty sure with just the right medication and rest, your fever will go down and you’ll be ready for work tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Fran. I really feel like a shit right now.”

“Language, Sunghoon. But you are welcome. Come, let me help you back to your apartment.”

“It’s alright, I can manage.”

“I don’t think so. I was watching you earlier, as you walked… I don’t think you can take a cab without falling asleep or without fainting. Come on.”

“Thank you, Fran. Really, thank you.”

“You are welcome. And you are already here for five months, I’ll be sad when you go home. You became one of us already.” Fran tried to continue talking to Sunghoon as they took a cab.

“I know what you feel.  I feel like I’ve been here for years too. But don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’ll be seeing everyone again someday.”

“You better promise that. But you should not work too much, Sunghoon. Look at what happened. This is because you work too much.”

Sunghoon just laughed it off, well partly because Fran was right, he was working late at night and partly because he can’t just tell Fran that he didn’t sleep last night.

They reached Sunghoon’s apartment and was surprised to see Jiwon going out of his apartment. Fran has been helping Sunghoon staying upright so his hand was around Sunghoon’s shoulder and Sunghoon’s right hand was around his waist. There was an awkward silence between the three of them before Jiwon cleared his throat and looked at Fran. Seeing this, Sunghoon tried to explain who the one holding him is, he doesn’t want Jiwon to misunderstand.

“He is—”

“Sunghoon’s lover, right.” Fran smiles “Everybody knows, Sunghoon.” Still smiling, he looked at Jiwon who looks like he was about to say something but was holding his tongue. “I’m Fran. Please do take care of Sunghoon, he has a fever.”

“What?!” Jiwon was quick on his feet, he took Sunghoon from Fran as he said his goodbye and thank you for walking Sunghoon all the way back to his apartment. As soon as Fran was out of his sight, they went inside and Jiwon assisted Sunghoon all the way to his bedroom. “What did you do that you are having a fever right now?” Jiwon asked as he put Sunghoon to his bed.

“Thinking of you.” Was Sunghoon’s soft reply. With his eyes closed, he didn’t see Jiwon’s surprised face or the smile that blooms that he is trying to hide.

“Y-yah” Jiwon mumbles, not looking at Sunghoon. He stood up but was held back by Sunghoon, holding his hand.

“It’s alright, Fran already give me the medicine. I just need to catch some sleep right now and rest.”

Speaking of Fran “Why did you let him think that we are lovers?” Jiwon asked, Sunghoon opened his eyes and looked at Jiwon, really looked at him. He was still staring at Jiwon when the other averted his eyes from him “Why are you smiling?”

“You don’t want to hyung?” that caught Jiwon’s attention. He looked at Sunghoon, who is still smiling.

“Don’t play with my heart, Sunghoon-ah.” He sternly said and he saw Sunghoon’s playful smile turned to a gentle one. He took one of his hands and caressed it.

“I am not playing with you.” Sunghoon softly said “Actually, I had an epiphany last night. I fell in love with you.”

And a big smile bloom on Jiwon’s face.  

But it was only shortlived.

Because someone called Sunghoon and told him he is going home.

“When?”

“Two days from now.”

**

They haven’t seen each other for months, only when they do video calls would they see each other. They missed each other so much. Paris has a 7 hours difference with Seoul. Their video calls would always start when Sunghoon would be out from work and would end when Sunghoon sleeps. Since Paris has a 7 hours difference with Seoul, Jiwon is the one who keeps on monitoring a workaholic Sunghoon.

It was decided on a whim. During one of their phone calls, he said. “Im going to Korea. I miss you.”

“I miss you too. Are you sure you are going here?” he asked, Jiwon can easily detect the excitement in Sunghoon’s voice, he too is excited with his sudden decision.

“Yes, I’ll just call you. See you later~”

“Wait, what?” but the call was already cut. Leave it to Jiwon to excite him more.

Jiwon was on the airplane when he felt fear creeping on his veins.

What if? I mean, Gian is there. What if when he went home, he changed his mind? What if he is still in love with that guy and he is just faking everything when it comes to me? No, Sunghoon won’t do that. But what if? You know how he is. He is too kind to break my heart. What if I am holding him down? He might not say it but what if—” Seoul, we are landing now in Seoul.

Meanwhile at Sunghoon’s…

The four of them were eating in the ground floor when they heard Anthony talking out loud as he walked passed by them. Anthony is known as the opposite of Sunghoon. His attitude has always been a problem of his co-workers. And he is a jealous guy. He easily gets jealous and his always target is Sunghoon, the guy who is known as the kindest and the most hardworking one in their company. So they should be used to him and his words but today, they fight back.

“Oh look the fag and his friends. ”

Suwon flipped, shocking his friends and even Anthony. “Who are you calling a faggot!?”

“Suwon, sit.” Sunghoon ordered. Suwon sat down clicking his tongue.

“Ooh the fag can order—” Anthony was interrupted by Jaeduc, who is sitting next to Suwon, standing up hastily that his chair fell backwards.

“Jaeduc hyung-ah.” Sunghoon called but Jaeduc just stared at Anthony, not hearing at all, with so much hatred that even Sunghoon was glad he was not the one being targeted with that hatred.

“Say whatever you want, your jealousy and attitude won’t get you anywhere.” With hatred in his voice, Jaeduc said.

“Let’s not make a scene here guys” Gian muttered, as he took a spoonful of rice.

“Oooh says the one who made him suffer.” Gian choked at that. He turned to Sunghoon as the latter pat him on the back. “Don’t you know the fag has been pining—”

“Anthony.” Sunghoon finally talked, their co-workers who were listening perked up. Someone even shouted “Stop using offensive words, so what if Sunghoon is homosexual. You never know he might be a bisexual at that. Stop discriminating people.” Sunghoon turned to the woman who shouted and smiled, nodding his head at her which earned a short giggles and squeals from the group of ladies sitting in their left. It looks like his co-workers are ready to defend him. He then turned towards Anthony and said while smiling. “Is there something wrong with liking someone who is the same gender as me? You won’t get promoted if you won’t change your attitude. Please change your stinky attitude. Get away from my sight.” More laugh was heard and Anthony went away with a poker face, hiding his embarrassed face.

His phone rang and one look on the caller made him smile wide, everything that happened earlier already gone on his memories as he answered the call.

**

Jiwon has arrived and already on his way. The younger couldn’t help but radiate the happiness that he feels knowing that he is going to see his lover in a couple of minutes, without him knowing though, Jiwon just parked his car when he called the younger and is on his way to surprise him. Jiwon’s smile was frozen on his face when he sees Sunghoon and another man seriously talking, too closely for his own taste.

“Gian.” Sunghoon said, acknowledging his long time friend and former-love-but-not-lover. He doesn’t have any grudge or hate against him so he acknowledged him with a smile in a formal way. “What is it?” he asked, knowing that he was stopped by him to talk.

“Anthony said it because he is jealous of you. He has always been jealous of you. With your good looks and you being great at work. I don’t know if what he said was true but if I made you suffer, I’m sorry Sunghoon. I am really really sorry. I didn’t notice you were suffering because of me. I should have observed you more carefully.”

 “It’s alright. I have moved on already. And I am happy now. You do not have to say sorry. It was my choice to begin with. And I’d rather like to say, thank you, because if I didn’t have my heart broken and I didn’t have the courage to accept the offer and go to Paris for six months, I might not be able to find him, well, sooner. I know we are meant to meet each other it’s just the push made it sooner than later.”

“I can very well see how happy you are, Sunghoon.” Gian said, smiling wide, relief in his eyes “and I am happy because you are happy.”

“Thank you Gian.”

“Sunghoon-ah”

Somebody called and Sunghoon swiftly turned around. He knows that voice. A big smile was plastered on his face as he saw Jiwon dressed up in a simple black v-neck shirt and jeans.

“So he is the one” he heard Gian said and he turned back to flash him a smile as he happily said “Yep! My only one.”

**

“Who is that?” Jiwon asked innocently though there is something edgy in his voice

“Gian.” Is Sunghoon’s only reply and every worries and fears that the older has been feeling since he arrived that morning only intensified. He cleared his throat and tried to ask Sunghoon but there’s a lump in his throat that is blocking him from asking the younger. Feeling the sudden change of aura around Jiwon, Sunghoon clung to him, backhugging him, stopping him from walking. “I love you” he softly said, tightening his hold around Jiwon. “so much”

Jiwon’s worries and fears dissipated as he held on the younger’s hand on his waist. He entwined his hands with Sunghoon’s as he asked, “Really?” with a smile forming on his face.

“Yes, really really. I love you so much.”

“Okay, no more pda. Let’s go.” Jiwon entangled Sunghoon’s hands around his waist but did not let go of his hand till they reached the area where Jiwon parked the car. As they entered the car, Jiwon also said to Sunghoon, “And I love you too so much.”

The medic team struggled to revive the patient but when they did, they immediately put an oxygen mask on the patient and monitored his vital signs as the ambulance made its way to the hospital. Doctors were on standby at the entrance as they waited for the medic team to roll down the bed carrying the patient.

The doctor was ready to assist and to instruct everyone but when he saw the face of the patient, he gasped “Oh my god, Kang Sunghoon!” the doctor fearfully shouted, stepping backwards as he did.

“Doctor Eun, we need to hurry the patient has lost so much blood.” One of the nurses said.

Putting aside his fright, Doctor Eun said with authority “Right. Faster.” On the way to the emergency room, the doctor has been shouting “Move, move, move!” to the people who are blocking their way. He was more emotional than before, one thing that the nurses has noticed but they didn’t point that out. He was about to enter the operating room when Doctor Jang Suwon came out and ushered the nurses inside.

“Move aside, I am incharge of Kang Sunghoon-ssi.”

“Fuck, Suwon! Who are you to tell me to move aside? And you can’t tell me I can’t be Sunghoon’s doctor because of my relationship with him. How about you, you know him well too! I am going to save Sung—”

But Doctor Jang only calmly looked at him in the eyes as he said “I will not allow you to operate on someone when you are shaking.” Doctor Eun Jiwon opened his mouth to say something but noticed his hands are shaking, he is in fact shaking. The nurses called for Suwon. He knows time is running so he took Suwon’s hand in his own shaking hands, looked him in the eyes and pleaded, voice breaking “Please Suwon. Please save him. Please.” Jang Suwon nodded as he went inside, the OR room closing behind him.

Eun Jiwon paced back and forth. He had called for Sunghoon’s family as soon as Suwon started the operation. He still cannot accept the fact that Sunghoon is inside, being operated on. He just talked to him a while ago, didn’t he? Telling him he is on his way to the hospital. Was it his fault? No. Kim Jaeduc, one of their friends who is a police officer has called him and told him the news about Sunghoon. He just didn’t tell him as soon as he recognized Sunghoon’s red car, because he himself was shaking when he approached the car. “Don’t worry, hyung, we have caught him.” he said, talking about the other driver.

“Jiwon oppa.” Jiwon turned around and was greeted by Yoonji’s and her mother’s crying face. “How is Sunghoon oppa?” he went near them and hugged them both. “Still being operated on. It’s alright, he is strong, he can make it. And it’s Suwon we are talking about. They’ll be finished soon.”

But it took three more hours before Suwon went out of the room. Jiwon felt dread because he couldn’t read what is on Suwon’s mind. But Suwon smiled slightly at him and he released the breath he didn’t know he has been holding. “He made it. But we still need to monitor him for the first 12 hours, it is still risky.” Suwon said to the family of Sunghoon who stood right beside him. Suwon clapped him on the back as he heard Sunghoon’s mom saying “Thank God” all over and over again. Slumping on the bench outside the OR, he calmed himself down.

“Thank you God.” he mumbled softly.

--

It was 8 o’clock in the evening when Sunghoon was rolled out from the operating room to his own room. All these times he was there to assist the nurses but he was eerily quiet and emotionless compared to the Eun Jiwon that they had witnessed earlier. He let Sunghoon’s family to look at him first. They went home an hour after, saying goodbye to him, they told him they’ll be back in the morning.

It was just then that his mask broke. With a painful expression, he went near the bed of Sunghoon and carefully held his hand. He broke down.

“You idiot.” he chastised. “Thank you for not giving up. What would I do without you?” he questioned, voice breaking. “Thank you thank you thank you for not leaving me. Sunghoon-ah, what would happen to me if you didn’t make it? I love you. I love you so much. Please don’t leave me.”

He can feel his hand was wet with somebody’s tears. He knows because he can hear someone crying and his hand felt so warm. But he felt so so tired; he couldn’t open his eyes so he went back on sleeping.

Sunghoon was dreaming.

Flashes of memories playing on his mind as he sleeps.

*

“Hoon-ah!” Little Jiwon called with tears on his eyes “You said you will never leave me!”

Little Sunghoon suddenly cried, shocking Jiwon. “I do not want to be apart from hyung!”

“Arasseo. When the time comes, I’ll come and get you. Or you can come and get me.” Jiwon said, wiping his tears away.

“I’ll come and get hyung.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He said, entwining their little pinky fingers together.

“Don’t forget about hyung, alright?”

“I won’t! Hyung and Sunghoonie will be together again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, hyung.”

*

20 years have passed; Sunghoon came back to Seoul with his family. He had forgotten how it feels like to live in Seoul. It has been so long. He couldn’t remember anything when he was still living here.

One day he was on a shopping spree when a stranger who looked familiar called him. “Kang Sunghoon?” he turned around and saw three people standing an arm away from him. He looked around, hoping it was not him they were talking too. “Kang Sunghoon?” the person in the middle asked again in disbelief, not really believing that he is seeing the real thing. But he questioningly stare at him. “Uhh, do you know me? I’m sorry I don’t know you.”

“So you have forgotten.” He mumbled as he sadly gazed at him. “By the way, it is good seeing you in Seoul again. I’m Jiwon. We used to live in the same apartment building before, uhm, 20 years ago, I guess.”

“Oh! I’m sorry if I have forgotten about you, Jiwon-ssi. I couldn’t fully remember things and people I met back then when I was small. How about you guys, do we live in the same apartment building too?” he asked, his social skills acting up.

“Yes, we all live in the same apartment building before!” The bubbly looking one on the left side of the solemn guy stated. “I’m Jaeduc. You used to call me Duckie-hyung.”

“And I am Suwon. You can just call me Suwon. Well, you used to call me Suwon too.”

“Wah! It’s amazing how you guys can still remember me! I’m really sorry for not remembering you guys. But I might have seen your faces before no wonder you three seem familiar.”

“Do you want to have a cup of coffee with us? Our treat.” Jiwon asked, hopeful the he would say yes.

“Of course!”

*

“Why won’t you tell him, hyung?” he once heard them talking at the hospital. He was visiting them when he figured to just surprised them but seems like he was the one who was surprised. “You have been looking for him for 20 years. Twenty long years!”

“Let’s stop this topic, Suwon-ah.”

“Hyung! What topic?” He asked though he knows it is related to him. It has been five months since they have rekindled their friendship though in his side, they just started their friendship since still he can’t remember. He has seen photos of them on his album though so he knows they were really his friends when he was a child. Especially Jiwon, in each photo, he is always clinging to Jiwon. He just laughed it off but now, it seems like he can’t just laugh it off now.

“Nothing, Sunghoonie.” Jiwon smiled a sad smile at him. He hates that smile on his. He pouted, making him laugh. “Really, nothing. So, how’s work? Why did you come here instead of going home?”

“What? You don’t like it? Okay, I’m going home.” He pouted again, turning his back, he was ready to walk away when he heard Suwon.

“Yah, before you go, give us that food dangling on your hand. That’s ours, right?”

“Aish, you.” He shook his head, laughing .

*

Jiwon was with him as he visited his mom and Yoonji. Their Sunday’s has always been like this. Sometimes they’ll be with Jiwon’s mom too. But today, it is just the two of them visiting. He glanced at Jiwon and tried to calm his racing heart. He has been feeling weird when it comes to Jiwon lately. He tried to decipher the feeling he has for the older but still couldn’t understand it. So he just go with the flow.

But Yoonji caught on his feelings and she tried to talk to her brother.

“I don’t know.” He said once she was asked what’s she feeling towards Jiwon.

“Tell me, oppa. I might be able to help.”

“It’s just, my heart flutters when I am with him. I feel so alive when I can see him smiling.. and it makes me smile too. I do not want to see the look of hurt in his eyes. I just want him to be happy and—”

Yoonji squealed. “What!? What!?”

“You are in love, oppa.”
 

“WHAT?!”

*

After that talk with Yoonji, he tried to avoid the older. He became aware of his surroundings, of everything when he is with the older and he is not yet ready to face it, to face his feelings so he tried to ignore Jiwon’s call and texts.

But it seems like Jiwon has enough of him avoiding him, because one night after work, he went home only to see the older waiting for him at the door, with a determined look on his face. His heart flutters again when he sees Jiwon but that’s not his problem as of the moment, because it looks like he had anger the older.

“What is your problem?”

“What is what, hyung? Oh, long time no see, hyung.”

“That’s just it. What is your problem, Sunghoon? You just suddenly disappeared. You won’t even answer my calls or my texts. Did you get tired of us?”

“No, that’s not it hyung.” He said, licking his lips “How do I say this that it won’t sound weird.” He mumbled to himself.

“What?” Jiwon asked, voice rising.

“Let’s not talk here, let’s talk inside shall we?”

Jiwon sat on the sofa as he looked at him pacing in front of him, saying “Okay, you better start speaking now Kang Sunghoon bef—”

“I like you. I talk to Yoonji about it and she put some things on my mind and I got scared and embarrassed and I don’t know. I shouldn’t be feeling this way towards you hyung because why would I feel this way towards you? I mean I am in love!? Why does my heart flutters when I see you? Why do I suddenly smile when I see you smile. I do not want to see you hurting. And it’s my first time feeling this way so I got scared and embarrassed and I—” he was engulfed in a hug by Jiwon.

“Calm down, Sunghoon.” But he can clearly hear him smiling.

“Are you smiling? Why are you smiling.”

“Calm down first.” He said again, caressing the younger’s back. “Are you calm now?” he asked softly, he felt the younger nodded.

“How does it feel to be hugged by me?”

“Hyung, this is not funny. Can’t you feel my heart is about to burst!?” he honestly said making the older laugh. But Jiwon just tightened his hug to the younger.

“It’s alright.” He sighed. “Don’t you know how long I have waited for this moment to come?” he mumbled softly.

“What?”

“What I mean is, I like you too. I am in love with you too.”

And it made Sunghoon’s heart soar. It made him happy. He entwined his hands on Jiwon’s back and buried his face on his neck, smiling. “Why are you smiling?” Jiwon asked with a smile on his own face.

“I am just happy.”

“I am happy too.”

*

After a month of being together, Jang Suwon finally caught on.

“Finally.” He once told him when he visited Jiwon on the hospital.

“What finally.”

“I know you know. I’m happy for the both of you.”

“Thanks, Suwon-ah.”

*

“I love you” he whispered as he reached his climax

“I love you too” with one last thrust, Jiwon spilled inside him.

*

“Mom, Jiwon and I will be celebrating our 1^st anniversary at home tomorrow.”

“What, do you want me to cook?”

“No, I’ll just cook mom, just tell me what to do. I’ll go home today to do some grocery.”

“Aigoo, my sweet baby~”

“Yes yes, goodbye mom.”

*

“Jiwon-ah~”

“Yes, my hoonie?”

“I have told mom that we are going to celebrate our 1^st year anniversary at home tomorrow. I’m going grocery shopping today. Do you want to come?”

“Of course I will. Will you cook for me?”

“That’s a given.”

“Yes!” Sunghoon laughed at that. “By the way, I’m on my way to see you. Goodbye, love. See you later.”

“See you later, love~”

---

Jiwon woke up to someone patting him on the back. He looked up to see Sunghoon still sleeping, he turned around to see Suwon with a smile on his face.

“While you were sleeping, he had woken up. But I wasn’t been able to talk to him because he closed his eyes again. He is not in danger anymore, hyung.”

“Thanks Suwon.” He gratefully said to the younger. “Really, thank you.”

“Just doing my job as his doctor.” Suwon said as he went out of the door.

Jiwon leaned in and kissed Sunghoon on his bandaged forehead. “Happy 1^st anniversary, love.” He whispered, tearing again. He kissed Sunghoon’s hands next and then his cheeks. Sunghoon still has an oxygen mask on his face so he cannot kiss him on the lips yet. “I love you.” He said, taking Sunghoon’s right hand in his and kissing his palm.

“I love you too.” a weak reply was heard. He looked up and sees Sunghoon blinking his eyes at him.

“You are awake! Wait, I’ll call a doctor. Oh, I am a doctor. Oh hell, I’ll just call Suwon here, alright? Wait for me. Oh right, I can just push this button.” He all said in a haste, making Sunghoon laugh weakly.

“Are you alright, hyung? Calm down a bit.” he mumbled, Jiwon leaning down a bit to hear him speak.

“Yes, I’m alright.” He muttered, eyes tearing as he did. “I’m alright.” Kissing him on his cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m sorry I made you wait for so long, I’m sorry I have forgotten about you, even though I promised…” he looked at Jiwon who was confusingly looking at him. “But here I am now. Even though it took me 20 years to come back… I did say I’ll come and get hyung, right?” Jiwon laughed and laughed but it became a sob in the end.

"Thank you for waking up.” He said, voice wavering.

After he said that the door opened and Suwon came in with two nurses. Suwon took his time to check Sunghoon at the same time smiling at him as he said thank you.

Jiwon stood in the corner, looking with a gentle smile on his face. All of his worries and nervousness are gone. Once Suwon was done, he went beside the younger again, taking his hands on his.

“I’m tired, hyung.”

“Sleep for now, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Thank you, hyung. I love you.”

"I love you too." he kissed his right hand again. "so much."