sungkyungkwan; hwarang - the promise [taegi]

[yryumi]

 

Notes:

i am fully aware what Sungkyungkwan, Seonbi and Hwarang means but let me give them other meanings for the sake of this fic.

this fic might be part or might not be part of a chaptered fic.<br />

if might: then you now have a little background on what's going to happen or what has happened. but not the full story of the fic, just a part.<br />

if might not: then i'd say this one stems up from hwarang ep 18 and that painful song when hansung-*cries*. and nothing more.<br />

if might be part of a chaptered fic: this is not really a hwarang re-make. lol. XD<br />

And I ship Taegi with all my heart, and I actually don't like reading angst. so, yeah. ٩(^ω^)و

Sungkyungkwan – the place, the school of Hwarang and Seonbi<br />

Seonbi – scholars who have their own respective fields and excels on their own respective fields. They study about many things and look for answers for the questions of the unknown. They do many studies and looks for breakthroughs. They are mainly the King’s scholar, people who can help the King and can advise him for the betterment of the common people. A Seonbi is highly looked upon because of the wisdom and knowledge they share to the people and to the King or to the reigning monarch.<br />

Hwarang - elite warriors who follow five ethos 1) loyalty to one's King 2) Love and respect your parents 3)Trust among friends 4)Never retreat in battle 5) Never take a life without a just cause<br />

Silla – the land being reigned by the Queen, Kim Nam Seok. It is a fact that the Queen of Silla has a son and a daughter, but nobody had seen them aside from the people working in the Palace.

Even if I go far away, don’t cry so sadly

Promise me that you’ll remember me

Only with dazzling memories

 

This day was supposed to be just like any other day, it was supposed to end just like any other day, with him happy and content even with the looming danger that he had sensed in the air for a while now. He had made plans with him. He had laid his plans to him after he made him promise that he will walk with him together.

 

“I will walk with you.” He softly said to Taehyung while entwining their hands together. The younger’s face brightened as he said that, he can still see a hint of fear in his eyes but it is almost drowned with the determination that replaced it.

“Promise?” Taehyung mumbled, squeezing his hand as he narrowed his eyes to the younger, asking “Did I ever give you a reason to doubt me?”

“No, hyung. I just want a confirmation, that’s all.” The younger giggled making him sigh. He stared at the younger fondly as he told him, “I promise.”

“I also promise to walk with you. I will follow you and protect you, Yoongi.”

The younger’s face was full of emotion. He had seen determination and hint of fear in Taehyung’s eyes earlier, but his face right now, he can’t help but feel the warmth that had bubbled and spread inside him, his heart so full and warm with the look of devotion and love that can be seen clearly in the younger’s face. He can’t help the wide smile that bloomed on his face. Lifting their entwined hands slowly to his mouth, he kissed the younger’s knuckles and said, “And I, Taehyung.”

“I love you with my whole heart and soul, hyung. Always.”

“What’s with the sudden confession?” he laughed shyly, face warming up. He knows though, that he is staring at Taehyung the same way the younger is looking at him.

Sparing him, the younger just replied “Just because” and then proceeded on telling him on what they should do for the rest of the day.

 

The rest of the day didn’t go as planned.

 

Yoongi knew something was wrong when Jungkook (Taehyung-proclaimed Yoongi’s 2^nd disciple, next to me of course!) walked up to him and asked him seriously if they could spar. He knew something was off. Jungkook always look troubled when he is being pressured by their grandfather. He had asked Taehyung about it the first time he had seen Jungkook slowly closed up and distanced himself from them, his group of friends. And the younger always talked about how his grandfather treats Jungkook unfairly with pain in his eyes. So to help Taehyung’s younger brother, he agreed with the practice spar. He just didn’t expect Jungkook to hand him an actual sword.

“Jungko-“ he was cut off as Jungkook lunged forward. Swaying his sword, he shielded himself from the younger’s attack. “What the hell, Jungkook!”

“You have to fight me seriously, hyung! Fight me as if your life is on the line!” jungkook shouted, not stopping his attacks even once.

“I can’t hurt you, Jungkook-ah.” He replied loudly, hoping it’ll calm the young man. But Jungkook only looked at him as if he was about to cry but hold himself still and continue the offense. “Jungkook-ah, what is really troubling you?” he asked in a calm voice but then Jungkook just pursed his lips. “You know we are here for you, right? Jimin, Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon, Tae, and me. We are your friends. You know we love you, right?” the younger faltered on his next attack and he heard his breath hitched before he stepped back.

“H-hyung, you have to fight me.” Jungkook’s voice cracked as a single tear escaped his eye. “I-I have to do this. Or – at least- at least, injure me hyung.” He whispered as more tears escaped his eyes.

Yoongi throw his sword away and started walking towards Jungkook . “Jungkook-ah” he called, at the corner of his eyes, he saw someone running towards them but his focus is on Jungkook who looked frightened as walked towards him.

“Stay there, hyung!” jungkook shouted, pointing his sword towards Yoongi, making the older halt midstep. “I-I can’t-Y-you are important to Taehyungie hyung so I-” And before Jungkook can even swing his sword towards his own body, Taehyung appeared, holding the blade of the sword with his bare hands. Jungkook stared at Taehyung in shocked before he looked down and saw Taehyung’s blood dripping on the blade. In panic, he wriggled the sword he is holding and shouted “Hyung, you have to let go! Now!”

Yoongi came up behind Taehyung as he also told him to let go of the sword. “If I let go, are you going to swing it again? To yourself?” Taehyung asked, breathing heavily with the adrenalin pumping him up as soon as he saw Yoongi and Jungkook sparring. Yoongi didn’t understand the panicked look Jungkook is giving Taehyung, or how that looked turned to full-blown fear as he turned his gaze to Yoongi. Taehyung was still breathing heavily, but then his demeanor suddenly changed, “Jungkook-ah” Taehyung’s voice sounded so sad and heartbroken, Jungkook just stared at Taehyung, petrified. “Why did you do it?” Taehyung asked, he swayed on his spot and Yoongi immediately hold his arms to steady him. “The medicine that grandfather sent to you, why did you apply it?” He still didn’t know what they were talking about but that woke Jungkook from his petrified state.

“H-hyung! Hyung, I’m sorry!” Jungkook fall to his knees at the same time Taehyung started shaking, the blooded sword fell between them and Jungkook picked it and threw it aside, crawling towards Taehyung. Yoongi caught the younger and they both fell to their knees, Yoongi holding Taehyung, who is shaking badly, tight. “You are a good person and a kind kid, Kuk-ah. Do not think otherwise, alright?” Taehyung mumbled, almost incomprehensible. He is still shaking badly and the fear-stricken face of Jungkook is alarming, fear already spreading inside him, almost suffocating him.

“Jungkook-ah, what is happening to Tae?” Yoongi asked, his hold around the younger’s stomach still tight. Jungkook looked up, shaking hands holding Taehyung’s. The younger looked so scared and he knows he is mirroring Jungkook’s expression.

Jungkook whispered only one word. Only one word and he already feels the sudden shift of his world. Two words and his world, his world, his world started crumbling.

“Poison. Deadly poison”

“Fck! Jungkook!”

“I’m sorry hyung. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m so-”

“I’m alright. Jin hyung can help me” Taehyung’s voice put them into action, Yoongi carrying Taehyung in his arms as he and Jungkook walked hurriedly to the place he knows the others are resting. “H-hyungie” as much as Yoongi wants Taehyung to not talk and just save his energy, he also wants to hear him talk to reassure himself that Taehyung Is still alive. He hummed in response to the younger. “Y-you’ll w-walk with m-me, r-right?”

Not trusting his voice won’t break, he only nodded and hummed in response. But when the younger repeated what he just said, he cleared his throat and told him, “I’ll walk with you. I promised you, didn’t I?” no matter how many times he cleared his throat though, it would still crack so he just let himself go. Just let his tears flow as he and Jungkook walked forward briskly, the younger leading the way.

“D-don’t hate, Jungkookie, o-okay?”

“I can’t hate the kid.”

“I love you, hyung.”

“And I, Taehyung. And I love you.” They were almost at the room where the others are. He can see the door to the common room already. 12 more steps, he thought. 10 more steps and he faltered, he slowed down to stop. He slowed down because Taehyung just went lax in his arms. He ignored Jungkook’s call who is now 2 steps away from the floor, because he just lost the strength on his knees and his arms. His knees hurt with the sudden fall but he didn’t mind the pain on his knees, because there is another part in his body that is hurting more than the physical pain he is feeling at the moment.

“You can’t do this to me, Tae-ah.” He audibly mumbled. In the distance, he heard Jungkook’s call for Jin and heard the shuffles of feet but his brain is not noticing all of it because they are not his priority right now. “Tae. Tae-ah. Taehyungie, please, please you can’t do this to hyung. Come on, please please wake up?” There are now hands pulling Taehyung away from him but he scrambled up to get a hold of the younger, to no avail because someone is holding him back. “L-let go of me! I c-can’t – he needs me!”

“Hyung, let Jin hyung and Jimin do their work” Hoseok’s watery voice answered him, his hold on him so tight he can ‘t move his trapped arms, he continued struggling on Hoseok’s arms anyway. “Hoseok-ah, I can’t be away from him now, so please le-“

“You’ve got to be fooling me, Taehyung-ah!” Jimin’s hysterical voice pierced through the vacant hallway (aside from them) and instead of pulling him away, Hoseok pushed him forward to the common room, not even wasting a second. Inside. the room was in chaos. The tables and chairs were pushed to the side with herbs and other medicines and tools circling the people in the center. He knew for sure that Jungkook and Namjoon just took every medicine and herbs they can find and put them next to the other piles of medicines on the floor in panic.

He can see Jin shaking right next to Taehyung. He is thankful for Hoseok, who is still pushing him forward, because he knew he would be rooted on the spot as soon as he saw Jimin crying on Taehyung’s unmoving chest. He can hear Jungkook’s mumbles of sorry on the far side as he collapsed next to Jimin. He turned his gaze from Taehyung’s pale face and violet lips to Jin who is shaking on the other side of Taehyung. “Hyung” he whispered brokenly when Jin looked at him. “I am sorry” Jin whispered back brokenly but with how there is no other noises aside from Jimin’s and Hoseok’s silent cry and quiet sniffles, Jungkook’s mumbled sorry’s and Namjoon’s heavy breathing, it is as if Jin said it loudly instead. “It was too l-late, he w-was already not b-breathing when- I am so sorry, Yoongi-ya.”

Yoongi can’t help but gravely laugh at their predicament, startling the others. “Jungkook” he said, voice hard and harsh making Jungkook flinch. “Why-“he stopped and controlled his voice before continuing “What was the order that you received?” that statement startled the others who had no idea on what happened. They all looked at Jungkook who cowered but he fisted his hands and with a determined face he told them everything he knew.

“Grandfather wants to kill the King. There have been rumors circling around, you all have heard of it. It had been circling around for months now, that the King is residing here, in Sungkyungkwan. And he, grandfather believes it’s you, hyung. He believes it’s you and he ordered me to-to kill you no matter what. But i-but I can’t do that to Taehyungie hyung so I-“ Jungkook’s voice cracked. “He must have known something was going on when I received a letter from grandfather two days ago. He must have known because hyung has been clinging to you all of the time since then. He must have read the letter grandfather-“ Jungkook took something from his waist, a crumpled letter and laid it in front of them. It says ‘Kill no matter what’.

“He has always despised grandfather’s way of doing things so he must have an inkling on what was going on.” Everyone was quiet, all of them still staring at Jungkook, with looks varying from blank to enrage, who lowered his eyes to gaze at Taehyung’s peaceful face. “I can’t hurt you, Yoongi hyung. I can’t hurt Taehyungie hyung… He is my only family.” Jungkook held back a sob and sniffled “So I made up my mind. For the both of you, I made up my mind. But he-he held the- and I- I- I - I shouldn’t have applied the poison on my blade. Or I should have warned him when he held the blade tight with his bare hands.” Jungkook bowed down, his forehead touching the wooden floor. “I am deeply sorry; I was driven to the corner. I can’t take away Taehyungie hyung’s happiness. In the end he- I - Please forgive me!”

“If” Yoongi’s voice was hoarse, raw with emotion as he stood up and walked towards Jungkook “If he didn’t take a hold of your sword, your next move was to put the blade through your body. Am I right?” He asked, and when the younger uttered a broken yes, he fisted his hands. “Stand up, Jungkook!” he barked, the younger hastily stood up with his head bow low. He surprised the younger with a tight hug and he harshly whisper “You didn’t kill him. He loves you and he knows what you were about to do so he stopped you.”

The younger clung to him tight “But it was because of me-hyung I- my only family I- what am I – forgive me. Please forgive me, hyung. please hyung, Taetae hyung”

“Jin hyung I’ll leave Jungkook to you and Jimin.” Yoongi waits for Jin to stand beside him before he told Jungkook softly to go to Jin, calming the youngest with his voice who clung to Jin as soon as Jin engulfed him in a hug. He turned towards Jimin who is still clinging to Tehyung’s clothes, head on the younger’s chest, Hoseok is beside him who is also clinging to Taehyung’s arm. Namjoon is now slumped to the floor, with his back leaning on a table’s leg, he has a hand on his mouth, the other fisted on his lap, his eyes are glazed and he looks so out of it. He is not in the mood to comfort the others though. He is in pain himself and the only one who can put healing salve on his wound is lying peacefully on the floor.

Slowly, to not disturb Jimin on Taehyung’s chest, he leaned in and kissed Taehyung on the forehead. A lone tear hit Taehyung’s closed eyes as he next kissed the younger’s brows. More tears hit Taehyung’s face as he kissed the younger’s nose and cheeks. Lastly, he gently kissed the younger on the lips. Taehyung is still a bit warm yet it finally dawned on him that he won’t be able to stare at Taehyung’s beautiful chocolate brown eyes that always look at him with love and devotion, that he won’t be able to see his charming smile that always makes him so soft, won’t be able to hear his boyish giggle and cheerful laugh that lifts him up and makes him happy, that he won’t be able to hold the younger and feel him in his arms anymore, that he won’t be able to feel the younger’s soft lips and won’t be able to feel it kissing him back full of love and emotion that always makes him feel good about his self and life.

All of this finally dawned on him, a broken sob escaped his mouth.

Trembling lips on unmoving ones and quivering hands holding a pale face, more sobs and tears escaped him. Touching the younger’s forehead with his, Yoongi let out a despairing wail of the younger’s name.

Just like a domino, the others followed and cried harder, clinging to each other desperately.

 

Taehyung’s passing has been the catalyst for many pushes in their lives.

Jungkook’s demeanor has changed, gone was the timid young man who cowers when being pressured and driven to the corner by people in power. He is now officially a Hwarang, who kept on doing his all in every classes and activities they needed to attend.

“Taehyung hyung has always wanted for me to be part of Hwarang and you might have noticed he is my unofficial teacher since we were kids. I’m doing this to fulfil his wish for me and to fulfil my dream too. I know he’s beaming at me proudly right now.”  

He is now a man who always look soft and kind to the people he now calls his remaining family yet always look serious and indecipherable when in the presence of others, especially those in power. He has perfected a poker face that he always says “This is the first thing that Taehyung hyung taught me. ‘Keep yourself close to people you don’t trust. Deceive them with the illusion that they know things about you and have you figure out but in reality they just saw the surface that you let them see, not the whole and real you. On the other hand, never close yourself to the people you trust with all your heart and soul, to the people you call ‘family’, never wear a mask when you are with them because a family sees through you and will always worry and will be in so much pain if you deceive them. Oh! When I say ‘family’ I’m saying the people you see as family, as real family, okay? Just because you have the same blood flowing inside of you, doesn’t mean you have to tell anything and everything to the family who treats you like dirt, like you are no one. I’ll tell you this, you are the only real family I have in this household, but because I am wearing a mask, the other people in this household don’t know that I don’t like them. Got it, Kukkie? Hyung will always be here for you. You are a good and kind person, alright? Hyung will protect you so don’t hide from me, okay?’ he said that, but when we play games, he’ll wear it for his advantage! Well, now, I am better than him I assume, since all of you can’t win against me when we play cards. Ha!”

 

 

Jimin has bad days when he would suddenly look at his side for help and guidance. Looking for Taehyung who is always by Jimin’s side when he knows the older is stressed and in need of guidance on what to do next. Since Taehyung has more knowledge when it comes to plants and medicine, he is always there to assist his platonic soulmate, always ready what to say.

Jimin would always be one breath away on calling Taehyung’s name (sometimes he doesn’t remember and would say Taehyung’s name calling for help) before he would remember there is no one to call which would make him teary eyed instead and would suddenly sniffle which would always startle Jin who is in front of him busy with his own research.

“I miss Taetae. He is more knowledgeable than me in this field why did I pursue being a physician instead of Taetae? Better yet, why didn’t I join him and Namjoon hyung?” and Jin will always reply with “Sorry to burst your bubble Jimin-ah, but Taehyungie is far more intelligent than both of us and Hoseok combined. I am absolute certain that if Namjoon was the King, Taehyungie would be the person standing right next to him. But the brat is also clumsy and a force of nature that cannot be detain so, yeah, we need more graceful, attentive physicians like you and me to patch people like Namjoon and Taehyung.”

And Jimin would reply back “Take that back, hyung! Taetae is clumsy but not always! Unlike Joonie hyung, you know that.”

And Jin would also reply, grumbling “Yeah, I know. But even now, I still can’t believe that the two people who are far more knowledgeable than all of us combined are also the clumsiest people I have ever seen in my entire life. Honestly, sometimes I am sure they are tallying their accidents and are trying to outdo the other. Because, Jimin-ah, a table?! And a shelf?! A table missing one of its leg because one clumsy person tripped on it? And a shelf full of books! How can one manage to topple a bookshelf at the same time the other tripped on a table?! If Hoseok and Yoongi haven’t witnessed that, while holding the table and the shelf in place, I would say they did that on purpose. For the laugh. But Hoseok looked so shocked when he told me that and Yoongi was so serious that he fears for them to be left all alone. So I was convinced that that’s just another clumsy episode of the two”

And with that, Jimin is now giggling and relaxed. A minute or two after that, Jungkook would stroll inside the room with more plants and herbs, ready to help the two healers. “Oh! Taetae’s apprentice slash Yoongi hyung's disciple is here! Help, Kookie, help!” Jimin would whine and Jungkook would roll his eyes but would help them because what Jimin said is not far from the truth, though the situation with Taehyung and Jungkook is like this: Jungkook doing everything with Taehyung instructing him because he is afraid Taehyung might accidentally kill himself or put himself on fire or the table on fire. Again. And they would continue doing research on poisons and antidotes and other diseases for a breakthrough. That, with some helpful tips Jungkook learned from Taehyung and then they would share some pleasant memories of Taehyung that would always, always make them smile and laugh.

 

Hoseok has somewhat mellowed down unlike before, because he is sometimes put between Namjoon and Taehyung when Yoongi is not around. But because of always being around the two clumsiest people he had known in his entire life, it also made his senses keen. Maybe he should really thank Namjoon aloud, (he had already thanked Taehyung in his mind afterall), because now, he is second to the best (he can finally say with confidence that he is also a hwarang not just a seonbi) when it comes to weapons and combat (more like, defense though. That’s what he learned from Namjoon and Tehyung, how to defend his life from the unknown.)

Maybe if the rumor was true and Yoongi is really the King, then he’d want to be the best to be able to protect him. Not just the King, but everyone he treasures. Taehyung has always talk him out when he is in his self-depreciating mood. The younger always knew when one of them is feeling down, troubled, or bothered by something.

Jimin had told the five of them before, with Taehyung deep asleep on Yoongi’s lap, Taehyungie is innocent and pure, aside from the bouts of clumsiness and wisdom he pours to us from time to time, the pureness of his heart, and the untainted innocence that he carries with him no matter what he had experienced in the past, is the reason why we can’t help but feel protected and safe, at home even. That is also why we keep on doing our best to be our better selves because we want to prove to ourselves to him. That, and because we feel protective of him too. Because we want to keep him safe and not suffering from pain that we or the world unknowingly inflicted him.

He still remembers that day clearly, Taehyung was suffering from a high fever and they didn’t notice it until Yoongi sat beside him in the library. As soon as the younger heavily leaned on Yoongi’s shoulder for support, he was whisked back to his room, instructing Hoseok to call for Jin and Jimin while calling for Jungkook to assist Namjoon (read: might trip on his own feet with how he is powerwalking to his and Taehyung’s room). Taehyung was giggling on how they fussed over him but is also grateful and can’t help but kept on telling them I love you! which made Yoongi grumble in a false attempt of being jealous, but he knew, and everyone knew, he was really jealous (but he knows self-control - he is a hwarang afterall). Even Taehyung knew of course.

I love you the most, Yoongi hyung! “Yeah, yeah, Thanks, now sleep.” Nooo, why won’t you say it? “Sleep, Tae” “I won’t sleep till you say it back. “I love you. Now sleep” What was that? I didn’t hear you “I love you.”

Everyone can’t help but muffled a laugh on the way Yoongi lowered his voice to softly say his affection. Yoongi is getting better on voicing his affections, it seems. Or maybe, Jungkook’s whispered Whipped beside him is the truth.

Sometimes, though, Hoseok wonders why is it always like this? Why do they have to lose someone very important to them for a push? Why can’t it be just a near-death experience instead? Why did the Gods take back the liveliest person, the most lovable and the brightest star from them in able for them to have a push to move forward in the right direction? And it’s a push, indeed. A mighty push. Hoseok is worried though. Because he can sense some tension building between Yoongi and Namjoon. He doesn’t know what it is, but he is afraid.

 

Namjoon has been feeling conflicted for weeks now. He wants to grieve; he wants to push himself more. But what can he do when his power is still limited? He lost someone very dear to him, someone very important. He didn’t think that the pain he felt when his father died is just minor than what he felt when they lost Taehyung. Maybe because he is just a little child when his father passed away, a sheltered child that has many rules to follow. He grew up with no one close to his age and no one to call as a friend. Everyone bows their head to him, everyone kept their distance. He was quick to understand that that is how his life is. He loves his mother dearly, really. But if he really wants to make a change, he needs to know and trust the people who would help him once he become the official King.

He was excited on attending Sungkyungkwan, finally he can be in the vicinity of people close his age. But he forgot one thing, he is the faceless King. His mother, the Queen, has done her part on protecting him and his sister in excellence. Because he is widely known as the faceless-soon-to-be-King of Silla.

Oh Gods. How can I have thought of attending Sungkyungkwan?! “You are stiff” I am stiff “You are destructive” I am destructive “You only call people when you are in need of something and you don’t have any friends aside from me so you do not know how to start a normal conversation. Read: normal conversation, a conversation without you spouting facts out of nowhere. And you are awkward” Yes, you are absolutely right, what was I thinki- hey! Kim Jennie! “I was just stating facts, dear brother.”

He sighed What are you even doing in my room? And stop eating my food! His sister only raised a brow as she told him “You are going to be late if you won’t start moving. I was just reminding you. Or did you forget that today is your big day?” with wide eyes and open mouth, he looked at her sister “I knew it! Be thankful for big sister Jennie for reminding you, baby brother.”

He narrowed his eyes at the young lady who is picking grapes on his table. Namjoon crossed his arms on his chest as he said, I am four years older than you, young lady. Now go back to your studies. Or do you want me to tell Lisa that the both of you can’t go to your friends because I am going to pile you with homework more than enough for three days.

His sister glumly put the rest of the grapes in her hand back to the basket and pouted at him making him cracked a smile. He opened his arms, inviting his sister for a hug. She gladly jumped towards his waiting arms. Take care of yourself for me, please. Always be attentive, alright? And take care of mother for me too. “I will, don’t worry. Have fun, brother. I am certain you are going to have a new set of brothers soon. Don’t replace me, alright? I am and will always be your one and only sister.”  I second that. One Kim Jennie is enough. The world won’t know what hits it if there are more than one Kim Jennie “Hey! Why can’t you be sweet to me sometimes?!” I can’t spoil you. That’s the only way to prevent a monste-ow!

And then he was off to Sungkyungkwan. He remembered actually being nervous on the idea of being surrounded by people his age. There were only six of them but still he feels like he is meeting at least fifty people. He can talk to the officials and other people in the palace without sweating. But the idea of talking to possible friends kept his mouth shut. His sister is right; he can’t start a conversation normally. Just like how he just spouted some random facts about astronomy to Kim Taehyung who only asked him for his name and a sheet of silk paper, he caught the other four’s attention though. Amazing. That’s a new record for you, Namjoon.

But instead of dismissing him, like how his sister always do to him, Kim Taehyung laughed at him and continued his train of thought, surprising him. He really can’t help the hopeful smile that he gave the younger when he called him “hyung, you are now Namjoon hyung. and they are Jin hyung, Jimin, Hoseok hyung, and Yoongi hyung!” A pleasure to meet all of you “Great, you talk things I do not understand, Another Taehyung-ah, great” Jin amusingly added but he gave him a welcoming smile. The others following suit except Yoongi who only nodded his head a little to his direction. “Don’t worry about Yoongi hyung. He is like that normally.” he whispered but loud enough that the said man heard him. “We only met for approximately three hours and you are already badmouthing me?” Yoongi asked with a raised brow.

Taehyung was instantly on his feet, wanting to hug the older to appease him, but he only managed to take a step forward before he fell flat on his face. Everyone looked alarmed at first, even Yoongi’s face morphed to concern. Before any of them was able to help him though, another person had run inside the room and helped Taehyung to sit back. He recognized him as the young man who is always by Taehyung’s side and who stood rooted outside the door when the class started.

The young man looked disapprovingly at Taehyung as he scolded him, “Taehyungie hyung, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful? You are going to have a bruise in your forehead now. And” he stopped frowning and grinned instead as he looked down on his garments full of ink “dirty clothes. A few hours in your new environment and you are already comfortable here, I see. Now I am certain it is not a good idea for you to go alone in the library later. I fear for the situation you are going to leave the library. “

“Jungkook-ah, stop embarrassing me to my new friends!” Taehyung whined and everyone can see his face getting red. Everyone laughed at Taehyung’s predicament, especially Namjoon who felt like he is going to have a new younger brother with this discovery. With a wide smile, he patted Taehyung’s shoulder in a calming manner and said “Taehyung-ah, I can go with you to the library. But I might add to the disaster.”

He laughed brightly when Taehyung beamed at him. And laughed more when Jungkook comically gasped at them “Oh no. Oh no, I suggest two people should accompany them” Jungkook addressed the other four, looking at their faces one by one “Looks like with great knowledge, comes with great clumsiness. They can’t function properly.” The two people being mentioned, look affronted as they argued “Hey, I resent that!” “And I second that!”

The rest thought it was just a joke but Hoseok went with them anyway and boy he was surprised. He left the library with both Kim Taehyung and Kim Namjoon at ease (which just show they are used to everything and all that happened was just normal to them) unlike him who looked jittery and is on high alert on things that looked normal but might be a danger to the people behind him (like the rock innocently lying on their way, which he kicked away just for good measure). As soon as they entered the common room where the others are (plus Jungkook) he collapsed dramatically on the table.

“What’s wrong Hoseok-ah?” Jin asked unnerved with his antics, while both Kims continued on talking about another branch of science on the other table. “What happened?” Jungkook asked curiously and Hoseok gave him a pained glare “You didn’t tell me they were that bad!”

Jungkook amusedly look at him, earning Jin’s Jimin’s, and Yoongi’s attention. “I am only exposed to Taehyungie hyung’s bouts of clumsiness.”

“Don’t worry, the library is fully intact.” Namjoon helpfully told them (or he thought that was helpful), but it made Hoseok glared at him after hearing that. “Kim Namjoon!”

“What? What did I do!?” Namjoon asked, alarmed. In front of Namjoon, Taehyung was giggling. Hoseok glared at him too, making him clamped his mouth shut and looked at him with wide eyes. “I only tripped once!” Hoseok narrowed his eyes at him “okay, thrice! But Namjoon hyung was the one who tripped on the chair! And make the shelf wobble!” 

“Why was that chair even there? There shouldn’t be obstructions on a pathway!” Jungkook looked interested while the others just can’t believe they are really that clumsy. 

And Hoseok, with his head on his hand, just want to rant about his day so he ranted or more whined “Firstly, always look on where you are going, do not just immerse yourself on what you are reading, or talk to each other as if you are walking on a wide and vast field and not in a library with narrow pathways, with many shelves, and lots of books! I repeat lots of books that can rain on you when disturbed rather rudely. Secondly,” he can’t help but narrow his eyes as he looked back at the two “ Kim Taehyung, you tripped but you are alright because as soon as you tripped, I moved the table you are about to hit your head, the second time you tripped, I set aside a chair, I haven’t even able to take a proper breath before you, Kim Namjoon, who didn’t even look on where you are going, tripped on the chair and just be grateful I was fast on my feet to hold the shelf because if I wasn’t, then that shelf would have toppled over, not just wobbled. Thirdly,” he wearily looked at the others, but was looking pointedly at Yoongi “I need another companion for tomorrow. I can’t handle the both of them”

“You don’t hate it.” Jungkook stated, staring at him and Hoseok answered truthfully, “can’t hate it, they are good practice for my reflexes.” Namjoon remembered looking at them dejectedly after that as Taehyung patted him on the shoulder while saying, “You and me against the world, hyung. You and me.” making everyone chuckle which turned to a full-blown laughter.

He remembered it was a good way to end their first day.

He had always known danger kept on lurking around him, surrounding him. But he had made himself lax because he was absolutely certain the seven of them has a bond stronger than family. He was absolute about that that when he heard about the rumors, he didn’t think he was in danger. At the same time, he investigated on how and where that rumor come from. It didn’t occur to him though, that the danger is closer to him than he first thought, that that rumor would cost him his dearest friend, the younger brother he is fond of. And that might, possibly (he hopes not) cost him a possible fallout if ever Yoongi finds out who the faceless King really is. Even so he kept on doing things alone. He knew Taehyung knows who he really is and that the younger didn’t tell anyone about it, instead he helped him, in the excuse of being scholars, we should think about things that would benefit the people of Silla, hyung.

Sometimes, he is angry at himself because it was because of him, the rumor of him being at Sugkyungkwan, and one of the student that cost him his dearest friend. When Jungkook told them everything that day, Namjoon was once again reminded of his position, how important and dangerous it is and how others would do anything for power. He was again reminded of the things he badly wants to implement; the changes he wants to see. Why it took him a friend dying to realize everything, pains him a lot.

  

Jin continued on doing the research both him and Taehyung had started. And accepted Jimin’s suggestion when he said he wanted to add more topic to their research. Looking back, maybe Taehyung have known from the start, that poisons would be used as a weapon soon. It just didn’t occur to him that the poison that would be used to Taehyung would be one of the two he was currently researching for, one of the two he hasn’t had answers for.

Taehyung was the one who suggested it, he should have known the hidden motive because Taehyung has told him time and time again, he wants to fight his grandfather’s wicked ways on equal grounds and entering Sungkyungkwan and being a Seonbi gave him that opportunity. Then he added, did not thought I would find love in here though. A plus I am very grateful of. I did not regret falling in love and finding love in here.

And he would tease Yoongi who has his eyes closed and is resting on the other side of the room, who he knows has been listening to them talk. His red face says it all. “Did you hear that Yoongi?” which would also make Taehyung red because with how passionate he was talking about why he entered Sungkyungkwan, he had forgotten that the one he kept on following since day 1 is also an occupant of the room aside from Jin. “Taehyung just confessed to me! Oh, how lucky I am!” which made Taehyung covered his red face, mumbling or more like whining stop hyung.

And because he has his face covered, he didn’t saw Yoongi opening his eyes, looking affronted at what he had just said. He watched with a grin as Yoongi stood from his bed and walked towards them. Yoongi just looked at him, nodding his head to the door. He caught the message of course but he can’t stop his mouth on saying “Alright, alright! I’ll leave the idiots alone.” And without looking back, he knows Yoongi sat beside Taehyung.

He caught Yoongi’s I thought you said you only love me, why are you confessing to other people now and he knows he is holding the other’s hand now because that’s there thing, and also because Taehyung’s reply didn’t sound muffle at all. “Ah hyung, I was pertaining to you and no one else.” And before he closed the door, he heard Yoongi’s teasing “Oh really”

Jin can’t help but open the door again though to say his piece seriously “Taehyung-ah if Yoongi won’t want to be in a relationship with you, I can tell Jimin you do not want to be platonic soulmate anymore. Romantic soulmate won’t change many things on how the both of you act together anyway. I can’t hook you up with Namjoon because the both of you would be a disaster, Silla won’t know what hit it. Better yet, go home with me.” He stopped and outright laugh at Yoongi’s tense face and his gruff reply to him.

” You and the others cannot take my lover away from me” Jin was pretty sure he pushed Yoongi to be direct to Taehyung that night. And he patted his shoulder saying Good job, self as he went to Namjoon’s and Taehyung’s room. He can’t sleep at his own room for the night, can’t disturb the new lovers. He just hoped they moved to Yoongi’s bed.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Yoongi asked from his side on the room, already under the covers. “You were chuckling.” Yoongi added as Jin get ready for bed.

“Just the night I pushed you to make it official between you and Tae.” Jin replied, chuckling again. There was a longing smile on Yoongi’s face, he ignored it though. "Good night, Yoongi”

“Good night, hyung.”

 

It is easier for him to think about the younger now.

The first two weeks, it was hard not to look beside him, waiting for a warm arm around his shoulders, or just a warm presence by his side, from shoulder to thighs or head to toe, when they are in the common room, eating or just relaxing. It was hard not to notice the absence of warmth beside him when he curls up on his bed. It was hard not to notice the absence of someone calling for him excitedly just to greet him good morning. The absence of someone whispering to him good night, and especially the absence of kisses and hugs that he is in dire need of, with how he grew up not receiving any affection, he didn’t know he was thirsty of it, not until Kim Taehyung came to his life and shower him with affections effortlessly, and for free.

It was hard to find a way to be okay. Taehyung’s warmth and love can never be replaced; it is one of a kind, the kind of love he has been wishing for, praying for the Gods all his life. And when he tasted, he had experienced that one of a kind of love, they took him back, away from him. Oh, how he wished for more time with the younger. What would he wouldn’t give for one more day with him. There’s nothing I wouldn’t give for time, for more time with him.

In the first two weeks, he mostly kept to himself. He distanced himself from everyone because he knows they, too, are grieving and want some space for themselves. Classes are gloomy, even their professors knew not to push them too much. They, on their own, push themselves anyway. There are many things that needed their attention. Many things that needed action as soon as possible. They can’t just keep grieving without doing anything. Kim Taehyung won’t allow them.

So at the end of the second week, he talked to Jungkook and persuade him to be a Hwarang. The younger accepted it gratefully, and since then the other five kept on working in their respective fields nonstop (Seonbi, Hwarang, and Physicians). He and Hoseok would sometimes visit Namjoon in the library who always has his head burrowed to a book, and many more books surrounding him. Both he and Hoseok would sometimes quizzes Namjoon on his perspective and the things that he doesn’t like and wants to change. He always answers them in a way of manner that made him question Namjoon’s real position. Is he really just a noble? He hopes he is. Because he wouldn’t know what to do if the faceless King in his mind that he is holding a grudge would become Namjoon’s face.

At the end of the third week, Jungkook came to him with a watery smile as he handed him a notebook that he knows belong to Taehyung. “I was helping Namjoon hyung on cleaning our room and I found this. Namjoon hyung recognized it as the one Taehyungie hyung kept on using for months. He said, it was meant for you. And I think, it really is for you, hyung.” He accepted the notebook with both hands, holding it as if it’s a newborn, fragile and would break if it’s not handled with care. He uttered a soft thank you to Jungkook who only nod and went out of his room.

Inside, there were many sketches of him: him eating, sleeping, smiling, laughing. There was even a sketch of their entwined hands. With a wistful smile, he flipped to the next page. It was a sketch of Taehyung. 

“What are you doing?” he had asked the younger when he entered his shared room with Namjoon. Still can’t believe how the both of them can only make their own room intact and neat. Why only their room? He still has no answer to that question.

“I am trying to sketch myself” Taehyung answered him. He hadn’t move from his position on the table at the center of the room, hunched there with a notebook and pen in hand, while there’s a mirror propped in front of him.

 “Why are you even trying to sketch yourself?” he asked as he sat on the youngers bed.

“So that you can look at it when you miss me.” He laughed fondly at the younger who is seriously concentrating on sketching himself.

“But you’ll always be beside me. I’d rather stare at the real person, you know. Unless you are going to leave me.” Taehyung patted the spot next to him on the floor and Yoongi wasted no time on sitting his butt next to Taehyung.

“I always pray to all the Gods that they won’t take me away from you or you away from me because I want to be always by your side. But we don’t know what will happen in the future, hyung. The people of Silla is slowly stirring things. And I have many sketches of you already. It’’ll be unfair for you if you missed me and wanted to see my face but you can’t because all I have drawn is your face.”

“I just hope that won’t happen. It’ll be too cruel for the Gods to take you away from me when I’ve been praying for you my whole life.” He uttered softly, eyes trying to memorize the younger’s face which is now frowning.

“I don’t like that. Let’s make a promise, hyung.” the younger looked at him with his pinky in front of him. “Let’s make a promise that if the Gods pull me out in here, we are going to meet each other in our next life. We are going to find each other again and again and again and continue our love story.”

Yoongi just stared at the younger’s serious face, eyes so deep and honest. “I promise” he softly and wholeheartedly said, his own pinky holding Taehyung’s tight. The younger always surprises him like this. When he thinks he is being subtle with sharing his hidden fear to him, he’ll surprise him with talking him to it.

“Hyung tell me exactly where my moles are, please. I can’t rely on the mirror when it comes to that.”

And when he thought he had it all under control, a sobbed racked his body. Yoongi was not prepared with the onslaught of emotion that had hit him together with the memory. He was reliving it. And he can’t help the mantra of I promise I promise I promise as he relived the memory. He stayed there curled up on his bed with Taehyung’s pad close to his chest. For minutes, he let himself grieve for his lover, and when he feels he can move on to the next page without breaking down, he sat up and flipped it.

At first, the passage was unfamiliar. But then a tune suddenly entered his mind and he finally recalled, it was the song that Taehyung would hum to him sometimes. You finally finished it. He thought with a gentle smile and teary-eyes. He feels like crying again. The date written above it says it was written the day before he died. He watery laughed. You should have at least sung it to me, you know.

 

To what point is this a dream

Was I really happy

As I place the memories of endlessly searching for you behind

Goodbye

As I get one step farther

I can see your love even clearer

 

Don’t worry about me anymore

Please let go of my hand

If this is the way that’s best for you

Wherever it is, I am alright

Even if I go far away, don’t cry so sadly

Promise me that you’ll remember me

Only with dazzling memories

 

I’ll miss you so much

Even if I can’t hold you again

Each familiar step I hear

I’ll follow and protect you

In this life of crying and laughing with you

There is no such thing as regret

Because my love will forever breathe in your heart

 

I love you so much I am blinded

To me, my whole world is you

Please be happy, even if the cruel fate is painful

So as I leave, I can smile

 

Thank you, Tae. He whispered softly, I’ll keep this gift of yours close in my heart. I’ll treasure this. I love you, my most precious important person.

Since then, it’s a little easier to move forward with his life. It is easier to recall the beautiful moments he had shared with the younger too. It doesn’t hurt to relive the memories anymore. It stings sometimes but he can live with it. Every memory he had with the younger are precious. He cannot not relive it just because he is afraid it would hurt. The others do it too. And it might make them wistful sometimes, but they cannot deny the warmth those memories always leave them.

They lost him.

But he left them with memories, with the most beautiful and happy memories.