[FIC]

Title: "I'm sorry" is what I've always wanted to say
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG

A/N: .... credits to yarukizero for the lyric translation of Arashi's song Koe . I was listening to this song as I wrote this.. (*A*)~ supposedly, this is just a drabble but I don't know why this become looong. (~___~)
by the way, i just put the lyrics because I want to~ XDD I don't know if it's connected to this fic.. but somehow it is :3 and I really really really love Koe. so painful yet beautiful song~


English is not my first language. I apologize for the errors.

I stood still in the windy city If I had turned around, I'd have seen the setting sun already disappearing

I saw the beginning of a quite night alone

Avoiding the place I usually met with you, I took a detour

Every time the lights of the city glimmer, I stand still again

He was devastated when the doctor explained to him the cause of his weight loss, his sudden weakness and extreme tiredness even after resting for two days and other else that the doctor enumerated. He is dying. Dying. D-Y-I-N-G. WHAT? What the hell? How would he explain this to his friends? his family? to Ohno? No. Scratch that. Ohno is not part of the list. They had a fight. And it has been a week since he didn't go home to their shared apartment. For the meantime, Nino is taking residence in Aiba's apartment. Speaking of Aiba, he cursed but is thankful because that idiot was the one who told him to go for a check-up.


What's the cause of their fight again? Because Ohno send a request for a scholarship in a known Art school in France without telling Nino about it. And now that he got a reply stating he passed for the scholarship, he tell Nino about it. Nino should really be happy because it has been Ohno's dream since before he knew the older. And because Nino felt a sudden change of emotion, he got angry at Ohno instead of being happy at him.


Ninomiya-san, you need to decide as soon as possible.


The doctor's words are ringing in his ears. What should he do? Decide everything by himself? Or ask help from his friends and tell Ohno about his illness so that he won't go to France? Wait. He shouldn't do that. Ohno deserves the scholarship. He should be free. He shouldn't be left here and take good care of him when his future with Ohno is not clear anymore. This is Ohno's dream and Nino wants him to be able to reach his dreams. He should at least let Ohno do that because it would be unfair if Ohno would be stuck with him without reaching his dreams first. He once dream to have someone who will love him as much as he loves the person in return... he had already reached that dream when Ohno came into his life. He once dream to have friends that would stick with him and accepts him wholeheartedly... that dream, too, he had already reached it...


So he should really let Ohno go for his dream... Nino looked up and stares at the night sky, blinking away the tears that had formed in his eyes as he thought about how to let Ohno go. Lips quivering, he hugged himself when the cold wind reached him. Where should he go? to Aiba's place or to their shared apartment? What should he do with his father, mother, sister, Aiba, Jun, Sho? What should he..


"Kazu"


Nino jumped and turned his back to the direction of the voice. Ohno is behind him, wearing a fluffy jacket and scarf to shield himself from the cold wind. He stared at the older, feeling the emotions he felt inside risen up. Nino cleared his throat and tried to call the order but before he could say anything, he was being pulled into a tight hug.


"I'm sorry. I was being selfish. I didn't thought about your feelings."


"No, Ohchan. I should be the one who should say sorry. I'm sorry for being selfish.. it's your dream. I won't hold you back now. You can go if you want to. I do not have the right to stop you."


"Really?" Ohno asked, surprised and he nodded. "Come with me, Kazu."


"Sorry, Ohchan, I can't." he softly said as he looked up at the night sky, missing Ohno's reaction."I can't go with you. But even if I won't be there with you, I hope you'll always think that no matter where you are, I am here to cheer for you. No matter where this life leads me, I am glad that I met you. But now that I need to, I have to let you go.."


"Kazu? What are you saying--"


"I am saying that there is no future for us. We can't be together anymore"


"Kazu, no. If this is about me going to France, then I won't go, just ple--"


"Ohchan, I love you. I really do. But you'll be there for four years or more.. and don't say you are not going because it is your dream.. and my dream is for you to reach your dream.. " and I'm dying


"Kazu, no. don't please"


"You are going to be great. I'll forever be your number 1 fan, Ohchan... I love you"


"You love me but you are leaving me. What's with that?"


"I don't know.. Life is unfair like that. One we're happy, inseparable then the next will be unhappy and this is for you, too. I am letting you go because I want you to grow. I want you to be happy--"


"Letting me go won't make me happy and it won't make you happy too.. Kazu"


"Ohchan, please listen to me--"


"Are you having an affair? Is that--"


"No! Of course that's a no! Just please understand that I do not want to be with someone right now."


"Kazu.."


"Ohchan.."


"It hurts"


"I know" don't go please. stay with me till my last breath.


He wanted to add but instead he pursed his lips and turned his back to Ohno, leaving him behind.

I always thought to blame you for all the little lies and selfishness

Looking up at the sky over and over when I remember, my heart feels like it would break

---


He cried himself to sleep. He just doesn't want Ohno to be there when he dies or when he would be there lying on a hospital bed. That's not the future he was dreaming of. Where did he go wrong? Why is he destined to leave the world earlier than he thought he would be? Why him? There are many elders that should be resting now. Why him? He is just 24 years old. Is this because of his lifestyle? Is this because he kept on telling his friends to treat him? Is this because he is stingy? Is this because he always play games? Is he really a bad person? Or the other way around? Why?


"Nino! Are you now awake?" Aiba shouted as he knocked loudly on his door. He got up from his bed and opened the door with force.


"What?!" he answered Aiba, annoyingly. "...Oh" he added when he spotted someone behind Aiba.


"Kazu.." Ohno said walking toward him.


"Ohchan, I thought we already talked about this" Nino replied, his grip on the door knob tightened when Ohno stopped just a step away from him.


"Kazu, I just can't give you up.." he pleaded, gazing painfully at him. He reached for Nino's hand and the younger let him reach it.


Nino stares at their hands. As much as he likes a stubborn Ohno, he also hates his stubborness when it comes to situations like this. He gently squeezed Ohno's hands as he says, "Look, Ohchan.. this is your dream. The one you were babbling about almost everyday and now that it is coming true, you won't grab it anymore? The Ohno Satoshi that I love won't waste any opportunity given to him..."


"But you are more important than my fucking dream!"


"Ohchan, please... just please.. don't make this harder for the both of us." he replied, moving away from the door and walking toward Aiba's living room.


"You are the one who is making this harder, Kazu.. We love each other so why can't we be together?" Ohno uttered and something shattered inside him when Ohno said those words.


"Ohchan, just go. Okay? Just go." he answered back, holding his feelings in place. He won't cry. He shouldn't cry. Or Ohno won't believe him if he cries.


"But Ka--" Ohno tried to hold Nino's arm but was swatted away when Ohno turned around wearing a stern face.


"Leave. Now. And grab your fucking dream!"


"Nino.." Aiba gasped and started moving forward but stopped when Nino glared at him.


"Don't say anything 'cause you are not part of this." he glared, just to mask his pain, he glared at Aibachan. "Oh, you won't leave? I'll leave." Nino sternly said and he walked toward the door.


"Ni.. Ohchan.." Aiba started but stopped and called Ohno instead when the older grabbed Nino's elbow.


"As you wish then. I'll go and I'll come back for you, Ka--"


"No. I won't wait for you."


"...right" Ohno said, his voice cracked but still he reached for the doorknob and opened it slowly.


"Show me instead how much you have grown." he added softly but still Ohno heard it before he closed the door.

Goodbye, I wanted to protect you forever and always

Even if I force myself to laugh and pretend I've forgot, I'll never forget you

Our touching fingers were searching for your feelings and my desires

It was to the point that we didn't need any words Our hearts had reached each other

Nino fell on his knees and Aiba was there to catch him. "What are you doing!? You have been crying all night because you do not want him to leave and now.. you just pushed him away! What is wrong with your mind Ninomiya! Why can't it follow your heart!?"


"As of the moment, my mind is broken, thank you. And my heart is not functioning anymore.. I'll leave too."


"Huh? Wait wait.."


"I need to go to my apartment."


"Oh! You are going to take back everything you have said and follow Oh--"


"No. Bye, Aibachan. I'm sorry."


"Huh?" Aiba mumbled and was answered with the silent air.

You had your sky I saw my own sky

The two shapes that overlapped changed bit by bit In those days...

I shouted until my voice was hoarse My feelings didn't reach you

The future that I had vowed to have with you was interrupted That day will never come back

When Nino entered the apartment, Ohno wasn't there, yet. And he hastily packed some of his clothes. He is going to the hospital now. If ever a twist might happen, he'll go to France and pursue Ohno. If ever there's a twist. After knowing he his things-- clothes, wallet, game console, phone.. oh. I don't need this anymore. He left his mobile phone in the closet and leave the apartment cautiosly, not wanting anyone see him.


Nino didn't thought his savings will be used for hospital bills. At least, he has enough money or more than enough, actually. All those years of letting his friends treat him always let him save his money. Though he thought of buying a house and a car for the both of them... scratch that, that kind of future doesn't belong to him anymore.


He went to his doctor and told him his decision but before that, he remembered he still have to resign from work. He didn't know he voiced out what he was saying, not until his doctor offered him his laptop. Nino blinked at his friendly doctor and shrugged, he was offered so he should take it, he thought and painfully it reminds him of what he said to Ohno. It hurts.


"Are you okay?"


"I'm good, Kokubon-sensei"


"Okay. I'll be back."


His doctor said and he left his office. By the way, why is he running away? Why is he not looking for help from his friends? He can call them, ask them to accompany him, be with him just for some comfort, just to tell him everything is fine, that he is just thinking too much. But no, instead of asking for them, he is running from them.


"I just don't want them to see me like that or to look at me differently if they would know the truth..."



---

Nino thought it all, calculated it. After he pushed Ohno away, he didn't contact his friends ever again. Even if his doctor asked (nagged maybe is the right word) him about his friends and where are they? He, sometimes his mother and sister (since they are far far from Tokyo) and he always lie when the question How are you? is asked. He can give his remaining money to his mother, let her buy what she wants and let her go wherever she would like to go.


He still hopes for a twist though. 30% is already high.. at least when compared to 10%. He has a 30% chance of surviving.. Why cancer? Why him? He wanted to see Ohno. He wanted to cry on him. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to be with him.


Unfortunately, he can't. He cannot be with him anymore...

Goodbye, I wanted to protect you forever and always

Even if I force myself to laugh and pretend I've forgot, I'll never forget you

OHNO


A/N2: And i don't know why it turned out like this.. /forgive me /hides

[FIC]

Title: "I'm sorry" is what I've always wanted to say (PART TWO)
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG

A/N: .... credits to yarukizero for the lyric translation of Arashi's song Koe . I was listening to this song as I wrote this.. (*A*)~ supposedly, this is just a drabble but I don't know why this become looong. (~___~)
by the way, i just put the lyrics because I want to~ XDD I don't know if it's connected to this fic.. but somehow it is :3 and I really really really love Koe. so painful yet beautiful song~


English is not my first language. I apologize for the errors.

I stood still in the windy city If I had turned around, I'd have seen the setting sun already disappearing

I saw the beginning of a quite night alone

Avoiding the place I usually met with you, I took a detour

Every time the lights of the city glimmer, I stand still again

Two years had passed, now he is back in Japan. He is determined to show how he have grown for the past two years, how he is now different from the man he was a couple of years ago, all because of him. He is back because he thought two years is enough to show the new him to him.


Though seeing him seems to be quite difficult.


Ohno met Sho first. He surprised him in his office. Sho was perplexed when he arrived unannounced-- Ohno kept in touch with him but he didn't tell him about his sudden arrival, he didn't even know he is coming back in Japan. Sho was still surprised but he managed to say a word W-welcome back! and they chatted normally, afterwards.


Sho seems to be quite anxious around him though. And he thought maybe it is because of Jun. Though Sho told him that Jun won't usually visit him in the office. Contrary to what he said, there was a knock and Jun's face popped out in the open door. The younger was smiling at first but it vanished when his eyes landed on him. Instead of stepping inside the office, he stepped out, slamming the door as he did. Sho heaved a sigh and muttered his apologies to him. Ohno just remained silent. He said nothing.  Jun is still mad at him, even after two years have passed. That's okay. Ohno then thought of the reason why he came in Sho's office, to asked if Nino has been keeping in touch with them. Sho seems dumbfounded with his question.


"What? Is it wrong to ask that?"


"No"


That was the only answer Sho gave him and then the topic was changed. And Nino's name was not thrown in their conversation till they part ways.

I always thought to blame you for all the little lies and selfishness

Looking up at the sky over and over when I remember, my heart feels like it would break

The next day, he visited his other friend, Aiba, at his restaurant. Opposite to Sho, Aiba's welcome is different, livelier than what he received from Sho.


"Sho-chan messaged me that you are here for a vacation"


"Yes"


Ahh.. so that's why.. Sho has already told Aiba about him being here..


"For how long are you staying?"


"Four days. Now, I only have two days left before I go back to France."


"Four days off is already long. I know someone who can only stay for a day once every year, you see.. " Aiba dropped off, he gestured to Ohno that he'll be back. Ohno watched him work, smiling at his customers and being friendly to them. After a while, Aiba came back on his table. "Let's talk inside."


He nodded and let Aiba usher him. AIba stopped for a while to told one of his staffs that he is going to have a private talk with a friend. The younger let him in to his office and offer him a cup of coffee as he sit on the chair. Without meaning to, Ohno blurted out Nino's name when he saw pictures of Nino on Aiba's desk. One is him and Aiba wearing bonnets and doing a peace sign, the other is the four of them--Nino, Sho, Aiba, and Jun, smiling wide to the camera.


"Nino? Why Ohchan, did you come back to look for Nino?" Aiba asked and he was taken aback at the sorrowful look Aiba gave him.


"No..."


"Oh, that's great"


"But I'd like to see him"


"For what? You are not still hurt and angry, are you?"


"No! Of course n.. well, I was angry and hurt but that was before... two years have passed already, Aibachan. Of course, I don't have any grudge against him. And never will have a grudge against him."


"Really?" he nodded "...Sho-chan told me you were looking for Nino."


"Oh.. I just want to know how he has been this past two years.."


"I'm sure he is happy."


"Really? I still want to see him with my own eyes, though."


Ohno knows the younger was thinking hard when he remained still on his chair, maybe weighing the outcome if he let Ohno sees Nino. And why are they not letting him see Nino, by the way? He is not going to hurt him damn it. He is just going to see Nino and let Nino see how he is now. How his drea-- Aiba's phone started ringing and the younger answered it directly.


"Hello, Jun. Yeah. I did not forget. What do you think Nino wants for today? Eh? Milkbuns?? But, but today is a special day! Ohh~ okay, okay.. I know, I won't be late. Bye, see you. "


"Aibachan--"


"Ne, Ohchan, you want to see Nino, right?" he nodded "then let's go. let's buy milkbuns first.."


Before he could ask Aiba more questions, the younger had already pulled him up and is now dragging him toward the back of the restaurant. They stopped on a car and Aiba let him go to the backseat.


"We usually do this.." Aiba started and he furrowed his brows, confused on what he was saying. "We usually visit Nino, once or twice a week. Sometimes I visit him everytime or Jun-kun would go with me, or Sho-kun... I know my sudden visit made him grumpy but I can't help myself though.. I miss him. We miss him.."


"Huh?" is all he can say. Aiba's words just made him confuse. visit him? miss him? Why? Did Nino go to a secluded area, far away from the city? "... he is happy, right? You said so yourself" Ohno find himself saying it to Aiba and somehow, Aiba's answer made his heart jump.


"...well, I know he is, now."


And that is all that Aiba said, the rest of the drive was silent after they bought the buns and apple.


"Why an apple?"


"It became a habit of mine to give him apples. You know the phrase, an apple a day keeps the doctor away? I just thought it'll help him."


"He's sick?"


"You know the answer to your question, Ohchan."


True. He knows. Nino is a person who get sick easily though most of the time, the younger tried to hide it from him. Ohno glanced on the window and just noticed how far they are to the city. He blinked. Is Nino really living in a secluded area now?


"Don't freak out, Ohchan"


"I won't.. who chose this place? Nino?" he asked, smiling fondly. The brat seems still the same, liking things in his own way. Yet his smile vanished when he saw Aiba's face in the mirror.


"Maa.. sort of. Yes, he chose this place."

Goodbye, I wanted to protect you forever and always

Even if I force myself to laugh and pretend I've forgot, I'll never forget you

Our touching fingers were searching for your feelings and my desires

It was to the point that we didn't need any words Our hearts had reached each other

The car stopped and was parked beside another car. Ohno saw Sho and Jun talking seriously near the gates. Cemetery?


"Aibachan" Ohno's head snapped to where Jun is. The younger is angry, again, his eyes locked on him. "What is he doing here?" he hissed.


"Jun, Ohchan needs to know, needs to see Nino and as Nino's friend and as Nino's love, he has the right to know."


"Fine! Then I'll go home" Jun said, passing at them. Sho and Aiba's protest didn't stop him so Ohno speaks.


"Why are you so angry at me, Jun? What did I do? Did I hurt Nino? Isn't it the opposite? Are you angry at me that I left, that I left him? Isn't he the one who said so? Isn't he the one who pushed me away from--"


"So! Are you saying you are blaming him? Because you don't know anything! You don't know a thing!"


"Jun!" Sho and Aiba shouted in chorus.


"I am not blaming him. Sure, I did blame him but that was before when I was still hurt and lost. I don't blame him now, okay?! I am here to let him see me, to let him know how much I've grown!"


"Stop it you two! You are making Nino cry!" Aiba brokenly shouted as he covered his face with his hands. Sho has his arms around him in an instant, comforting him as he looked sadly at Jun, who is looking at Aiba.


"Sorry.." Jun said softly to no one but his apology was meet by a cold wind caressing his cheek "..Nino, sorry." he said, a little bit louder as he closed his eyes and let the cold wind envelope his body.


"Huh?" Ohno silently stares at Jun then at Aiba who is now wiping his face with the handkerchief Sho gave him.


"You don't hate him?" Jun asked delicately and Ohno blinked at him. The anger is gone on his face. It is now replaced with a melancholic look.


"I don't hate him"


"You won't run away?"


"I won't run away, especially from him."


"Okay then, follow me." Jun said with a small smile.

You had your sky I saw my own sky

The two shapes that overlapped changed bit by bit In those days...

I shouted until my voice was hoarse My feelings didn't reach you

The future that I had vowed to have with you was interrupted That day will never come back

As he walked behind Jun, he saw how Jun reached for Aiba's cheek and tells him his apologies and Sho's fond smile as he looked at the both of them. Ohno looked around him, searching for Nino's figure somewhere but he still couldn't find him.


"Where's Nino?"


"We are almost there.." Sho answered him, still wearing a smile.


"Oh.."


He continued looking around till they stop on a gate. Jun opened the gate and they all entered the big green space. It's just like Jun's lawn, with the green grass and a bench and a swing (if he remembered correctly the lawn in Jun's house). There was a picnic set arranged and Aiba put the milkbuns and apple there. His friends sat on the blanket and Ohno was pulled down by Aiba.


"Where's Nino?" he asked again. And somehow, somehow he knows. His heart was beating fast, it feels like it'll run away from his ribs any second now. Aiba pointed his forefinger somewhere in front of him. Stupidly, he stares at Aiba's finger and slowly followed where it is pointing, then, his vision spotted the stone grave and his jaw dropped. Ohno looked at his friends with wide eyes though none of them look back at him. "...what is the meaning of this?" he tried to ask in a whisper, his voice hitch when he looked back at the stone. Hastily, he stand and ran toward the tomb, and dropped his knees when he read Nino's name. He knows his friends are behind him, he knows they followed him when he ran. "Aibachan, w-what day is today" he asked slowly, softly, voice cracking.


"27th. Today is his 1st Death Anniversary.."


"What - Stop-how- why is Nino's name here? Where is-"


"Ohchan.." Jun called him, dropping a hand on his shoulder. He then dropped on his knees as he grieve for his friend.


"Jun, tell me the truth. What is the meaning of this?" Ohno asked, still looking at Nino's name. "I need to know.. I want to know.. I just want to know the truth.. or something that you know, please tell me" he begged as he turned around and dig his head on Jun's chest. "please" he begged again with his clenched fist on his lap. Ohno felt a hand on his head, he thought it was Jun's but when he felt a pressure on his cheek, and hands oh so familiar embracing him from behind, he shivers, it's not Jun.


"It was a result of depression. Nino's sickness was already on that stage and Nino has been pushing all of the people he cared for away." Jun started and he tried to listen, though his mind wanders around when the coldness around him vanished. "He said it is better to be alone than to let us see him suffer, than to let you stick with him when he is going to die in the end.. We didn't even know a thing about his well-being because just like you, we too, were pushed away, though he did it indirectly. After he left your apartment, he resigned from work. We couldn't contact him and we were so worried that we even contact his family.. but his mother said he called them two days ago and that he is fine.. after hearing that from his mother, we felt relieved.. but, still, we cannot believe that he left us. We've been friends for too long.. too damn long and he just left us without a message... Four months had past, still we don't know where Nino is... not until that time. The first time I saw him in the hospital, it was just merely a coincidence... It was that time when we sent Aibachan to the hospital because he fell on the stairs. Shochan accompanied Aibachan as the doctor was examining the xrays and I went outside to call my boss and Sho's boss about where we are as of the moment.. I was on my way back when someone opened a room... After four months of not knowing where Nino is, he suddenly appeared in front of me.. I didn't know what I felt when I saw his face again.. relief or anger or fright. I really didn't know. I didn't even manage to move from my place. And if I didn't read the name on the side of the door, I think my brain won't register that he was hospitalized, even if it is so obvious on his withering figure and with what he was wearing. Do you know what he said when he knows it was me standing in front of him?


"Sorry. I am sorry. Jun, I am really really sorry.." he cried


"Nino? What-what are you talking about?"


"What are you doing here, J? Did my doctor call you? Damn it."


"No. Aibachan fell on the stairs and we-"


"Aibachan!? Is he okay now? No broken bones?"


"The doctor was still examining him when I went out... why are you--"


"Oh! Are you Nino's friend?"


"Stupid doctor."


"I am Nino's doctor, Kokubon Taichi. I'm glad someone visited him. You know, this kid is lonely"


"I'm not!"


"And why are we talking outside? Let's go inside. I still have to monitor Nino's condition.. Come come."


"Why are you letting him in? This is not your room."


"Sorry about that. That's just Nino's way on saying how much he misses you. Oh? Are you okay?"


"What... what's wrong with Nino?"


"Haven't you seen the sign hanging there?"


"What?" Cancer patients area.


"Let him go, Taichi-san.. it's okay if he would run away." and Jun really run away "see? that's the reason why I didn't tell them anything.. I do not want to see that kind of face on them."


"Nino.."


"Can I go outside after this, Taichi-san?"


"Sure, Nino. Sure.. but"


"I'll let a nurse accompany me and I'll use a wheelchair. I know. I just really want to see the outside."



----


Nino was curled into a ball, crying when Jun visited him again, with a crying Aiba and Sho behind him.


"Nino?" Jun called and Nino stiffened, he then look up and saw his friends.


"What are you guys doing here?"


"Why didn't you tell us? Why Nino? I still can't belie-- wait.. Even Ohno-kun didn't know about this, right?"


"I do not want you to see me like this.. especially Ohchan."


"You know we can help you! Or accompany you or visit you. Why Nino, why?"


"Because I am going to die and I do not want you to be stuck with me!"


"Nino.."


"And Ohchan has his dreams and my dream is for him to be able to reach those dreams so I send him away! I do not want him to be here caring for me when he was accepted and has a scholarship waiting for him in France... Why would I take that dream away from him? Even if he loves me and I love him back, I do not want him to miss this opportunity.. I am going to die anyway."


"Don't say that! No! Ninomi won't die" Aiba said as he run and hug Nino. Nino hugged him back.


"It's inevitable, Aibachan... How are you? No bones broken?"


"I'm fine. It's nothing compared to your pain." Nino chuckled, painfully, his heart hurts with what Aiba said. "Nino?"


"Hmm?"


"You are not going to die."


"Oh, right. Yes." he said dryly as he pet Aiba's hair. Aiba sniffed and whined at his tone of voice.


"Nino~"


"What?"


"Don't leave us.." Aiba said brokenly and it break his heart to see him like this "Don't leave us again."


"Aibachan..."


"And don't say anything about dying because I don't want you to say it."


"It's okay. I already accepted it.. Funny, Taichi-kun's words are ringing in my ears."


"What?"


"Nothing.. I just thought it was just days ago when I accepted the fact about this.. about me being here... Aibachan, Shochan, and Jun.. please don't say anything to Ohchan." Nino said, looking at Sho and Jun "Please.." he added weakly before one of them can object.



Sho-kun contacted you because Nino wants to know if you're okay.. Nino is beside Sho-kun everytime Sho-kun calls you or chat with you.. Do you remember when Sho-kun asked you about Nino and that you said you do not want to talk things regarding Nino? And when he tried again, you changed the topic roughly? I got angry at you then, because Nino was there to hear those words coming from your mouth, to hear what kind of tone you used. You act as if you're the one who was badly hurt. I got angry because you do not know anything about the pain and the suffering of Nino. But you know what he did that time? He just smiled at your words.. The next morning he was unusually quiet and he was saying things about what to do and what not to do. It scared us especially when he asked Sho-kun to call you.


"Aibachan, don't forget, a restaurant serves edible food, if you want to experiment and you want someone to taste it, you can ask Shochan."


"Oi! Don't say that, Nino~"


"But if you are really going to open a restaurant, hmm.. don't you think it's better if the other side is a family restaurant and the other side is a cafe?"


"Ah! What about--"


"Don't think about a pet shop! Oh? I get it right, right?" Nino laughed "Aibachan, you are going to open a restaurant and do you think it's not right to have the half part of the restaurant as a pet shop? Think about your customers! They are eating and then suddenly, they could see the pets pooping in the glass door. It's better if the other half is a cafe."


"You think so?"


"Yes"


"Okay~"


"... and about Jun-kun and Sho-chan... well, they can take care of themselves."


"Of course they can!" Aiba said gleefully and it made Nino chuckled.


"So you agree that you can't take care of yourself."


"Eh? I didn't say anything like that." Aiba said pouting, and he added "Nino is so mean"


"You are such a cutie. Take care of yourself, Aibachan. Or should I keep on watching you?" he added, smirking


"No! You are not allowed to watch me always~ especially when it's time for me to pee or poo or--"


"Eeew! Of course I won't do that!" Nino said, making a face that made Aiba giggle.


"But you don't have to watch me always, you know.. Eh? and why are we talking about that ?"


"Nothing. I just said it."



Do you remember when you called Sho-kun the next day but he didn't answer? That's because he was on a meeting and he thought you will call back later or he will call you back later because Nino was still telling Sho-kun to him to call you. Well... there really was a call but it's not from you.. it's from the hospital. He left us that day.. He left and he didn't even wait for us. In the end, he really did leave without seeing our crushed faces--"


"Unfair.. this is so unfair! Nino! I.. I forced myself to forget but still.. I was hoping.. I was hoping we can still be together. I was hoping.. and was planning to take you back... I was.."


"Ohchan.." he heard Aiba's cracked voice and he felt someone lifting him up. Aiba turned him around and he looked at the younger in the eyes. "You remembered when I told you about someone I know that can only visit once a year?" Aiba said with a sad smile. The thought made him shiver, the thought made him excited, confused, afraid, anxious..


"He's here?" he said softly. When Aiba slowly nodded his head, he frantically turned around and look at his surrounding. "Where is he? Why can you see him? Why can't I? Nino?"


"I've been seeing people like Nino since I was a child.. at some point, it stopped when my grandfather died. So when I saw someone who looks like Nino visited me in the restaurant, I thought I was just seeing things. But when I saw him tailing Jun to work, I cried. It's too much for me to see him smiling and guarding Jun-kun. It's too much because they can't see him. Though there are times when he visited them in their dreams, it's still another when Nino is right beside us but is ignored."


"No it's not. I'm happy to see you guys all together. It's not boring at all and I am not unhappy for being ignored." said the voice that made them gasped. No one dared to look at the swing where the voice came from. No one except Aiba who giggled and ran toward the swing.


"Nino!" he said, his eyes brimming with tears while grinning wide. He then abruptly stop in front of Nino and anxiously added "I can hold you, can't I?" he said, voice broken and it made Nino abandoned the swing, instantly he has his hands around Aiba and the older cried on his shoulder.


"I am sorry... for burdening you with my presence." Nino sadly said, Aiba is a precious person, the very best friend and the very best brother figure that was given to him even if they are not blood related and him seeing his supposed to be dead friend is not a nice way of saying his gratefulness to the older.


"No.. you were not a burden at all. You are still you.. And thank you for keeping your promise."


"And I am sorry for not properly saying goodbye to all of you." Nino added, knowing how Aiba tightened his grip around him as he looked at the other three who is now facing them. He stares at Ohno, eyes welling up as the older man tried to move but can't move just like Jun and Sho. "... I'm sorry, Satoshi" he whispered softly but Ohno heard it nevertheless. "I am really really sorry.. for everything.. for everything." he repeated, his voice muffled as Ohno managed to move forward, shoving (not so harshly) Aiba away from Nino as he pulled the younger closer to him, crying hard as Nino whispered his I love you and Thank you.


"I am the one who should be saying sorry.." Ohno said, crying even harder than before "I am so sorry Kazu. I am so so sorry. I love you. I still do.."

"Thank you, Ohchan.. but it's time for you to forget me" he whispered on his ear. Ohno stubbornly shook his head, whispering he can't. he won't. as if he can just forget him just like that. Nino sadly smiles "then, in the near future, please move on.. and forget me"

"I told you already I can't! Why won't you let me not forget about you, Kazu?!" he screamed, voice muffled in Nino's shoulder as he tightened more his grip around him, angrily sobbing as the years of pent up emotion for the younger, of pretending, of thinking and of missing the younger.. and now of losing the younger forever. But I already lost him...

"You were my first.. and my last. Thank you. I really am thankful that I met you, Satoshi.. and now, I can properly say goodbye." Nino said with a smile, staring at his friends who are now behind him. "Thank you"


"It's over already?" tears dry on his face, he found himself asking Nino softly when he felt how his hold is loosening its grip around Nino. And for the first time since he ran and hold Nino after two damn years, he looked at him in the eyes. Nino nodded slowly. He heard how Jun choked out a sob and how Aiba wailed and how Sho remained unmoving though his tears kept on trailing down his face. He kept his eyes on Nino's, barely unaware that they both leaned closer. And with a featherly touch of lips over lips, Nino vanished in a sec. Though before he fully disappeared, he strongly believe he saw Nino's twinkling eyes and happy smile..


He let himself fall on his knees. Tears running down in his closed eyes as his fingers touched his lips.

Goodbye, I wanted to protect you forever and always

Even if I force myself to laugh and pretend I've forgot, I'll never forget you

"You sure about this? You still have 9 hours left you know."


"It's already enough. I don't think I can still let myself be around them after properly saying goodbye... and I can still see them from here so it's already enough" he replied, his gaze locked to the people below them.


"But you waited for this-"


"Senpai.. I'll just keep on watching them just like what I always do... and maybe visit them in their dreams if ever they are troubled.."


"If you say so, Nino. If you say so. Maa, I'm sure all of you will meet again someday so Ah! it's time for me already. Do you want to come with me or stay with them for a while?"


"I..I'll come with you"


"Okay, bid them your last farewell then."


And he did what he was told. After embracing them all together and after he whispered on their ears, he followed his senpai.



A/N2: kick me now. D: